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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inner-Self Starvationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Amberdy
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 240/232/59
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 319
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       This is an older one, I wrote it a few years ago, so it might not be too great. But i'd still like to know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInner-Self Starvationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Inside I'm S C R E A M I N G
    Can you hear these cries?
    The tears fall behind my eyes.
    Pain, pain please go away,
    Won't you spare me just this day?
    My heart feels empty.
    hollow, incomplete,
    My life is a war
    which I cannot defeat.
    These emotions fly
    beyond my control
    In through my heart,
    out through my soul.
    The pain extends
    so far past your site,
    deeper than any ocean
    darker than tonight.
    Can you see everything
    I hold so deep inside,
    bound down with the force
    of such a foolish pride?
    I try to keep it hidden
    in the depths of my imagination
    so no one knows the severity
    of my inner-self starvation.




    Submitted on 2005-05-27 23:36:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with the previous comment. You have taken a theme that is common, and made it original and strong. I could hear these words as lyrics in a song, and I would love it then, too. It was hard choosing, but I think my favorite lines were : "My life is a war which I cannot defeat."
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
      powerful, moving, i haven't read anything this emotional and truthful in a while. this a great work. I love the rhyme scheme. the lines are simplistic yet effective. great work of art.
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]


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