[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729

       This is silly...I would be happy to know some coments but for now you know this is it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I feel the need to tiptoe
    So many things left unsaid
    if i were to awake you I would cry
    because you would be mean
    so I treat you like glass
    I treat you like you don't need to break

    right now I am tired
    this physical feeling reflecting my head
    making me realize that I hate it here
    it is bringing me down
    and it is so simple to leave
    I have no fucking keys

    I was talking about you...so sorry to slip away
    I like you
    but you don't like me
    or at least you don't tell me so...I can take a hint
    you are glass...so easily broken, something I should hold carefully in my hands

    Submitted on 2005-05-28 01:12:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      another good write thanx for checking in also thanx for your kind words on music i am glad you enjoyed,your poem i guess we have all felt this way living on someone elses time with either a family member or a lover kind of sucks but after a few times believe me the hurt goes away
    thanx again
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this as well as your icon. But then again I am obsessed. ^-^ Anyways, I like the reference to the person being made of glass, but I think the wording could be changedto make everything flow a little smoother. Otherwise good job.
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you need to fix this line
    "because would be mean" other thank that i think it is a good write. keep them comeing lia
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      Did I just say 'Wow'?! :)

    Completely relate to this poem. If it's about one-sided love. I particulary liked the last stanza. Great work that. Also, about the glass thing :) Amazing
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      This confused me very much Jaz. What exactly is it about? i was thinking about like a relationship where the person doesn't love you and they are easily hurt. Am I right? I don't know. I'm drunk right now. LOL. Seriously. Good write though. May I ask...who is this about? I have a good idea. Anywayz...e-mail me soon.

    Love ya,
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Confusing but really good. I like this a lot. I know what it's like to write stuff like that but I also know what it's like to get critisized by it. I like this very much. I hope that you keep up your writing and don't give up on becoming published.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]