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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 671
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729

       This is silly...I would be happy to know some coments but for now you know this is it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I feel the need to tiptoe
    So many things left unsaid
    if i were to awake you I would cry
    because you would be mean
    so I treat you like glass
    I treat you like you don't need to break

    right now I am tired
    this physical feeling reflecting my head
    making me realize that I hate it here
    it is bringing me down
    and it is so simple to leave
    I have no fucking keys

    I was talking about you...so sorry to slip away
    I like you
    but you don't like me
    or at least you don't tell me so...I can take a hint
    you are glass...so easily broken, something I should hold carefully in my hands

    Submitted on 2005-05-28 01:12:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      another good write thanx for checking in also thanx for your kind words on music i am glad you enjoyed,your poem i guess we have all felt this way living on someone elses time with either a family member or a lover kind of sucks but after a few times believe me the hurt goes away
    thanx again
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this as well as your icon. But then again I am obsessed. ^-^ Anyways, I like the reference to the person being made of glass, but I think the wording could be changedto make everything flow a little smoother. Otherwise good job.
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you need to fix this line
    "because would be mean" other thank that i think it is a good write. keep them comeing lia
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      Did I just say 'Wow'?! :)

    Completely relate to this poem. If it's about one-sided love. I particulary liked the last stanza. Great work that. Also, about the glass thing :) Amazing
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      This confused me very much Jaz. What exactly is it about? i was thinking about like a relationship where the person doesn't love you and they are easily hurt. Am I right? I don't know. I'm drunk right now. LOL. Seriously. Good write though. May I ask...who is this about? I have a good idea. Anywayz...e-mail me soon.

    Love ya,
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Confusing but really good. I like this a lot. I know what it's like to write stuff like that but I also know what it's like to get critisized by it. I like this very much. I hope that you keep up your writing and don't give up on becoming published.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]

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