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    dots Submission Name: Consumers Riskdots

    Author: shombray
    ASL Info:    18/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.31 - 103/91/26
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1258

       Tell me what you think about this subject or what you did and did not like about it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConsumers Riskdots

    I come in liquid, solid ,or smoke
    It aint my fault if I first make you choke
    My plague goes through your body with ease
    And once I get there I am aiming to please
    Your wanting for me is what keeps me alive
    I am not easy to get you have to strive
    I have families all around town
    We make you go up and bring you back down
    You spend all of your money on me
    Sometimes you are only left with a penny
    You can be so crazy for me
    You'll ruin your life and your families
    The law tells you I am the wrong thing to do
    But screw them my interest is only in you
    Society blames me for the bad things I achieve
    But it is not my fault if I was meant to decieve
    Sometimes you'll throw away my family and me
    But we don't go down easily
    We are weed ,wet,marajuna,crack,ecstasy, and meth
    We are the ones that give you that slow and painful death
    So tell little Jim or little Sue to stay the hell away from me
    Because if they come into my world I will forever be thier buddy
    To tell you the truth my founders are the ones to blame
    Society discovered me, tried me , and even gave me names

    Submitted on 2005-05-28 01:59:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      that was pretty awsome
    i could think of friends that would look at that and laugh and then some that would take it seriouse and use it to try to get others away from drugs
    it brings a little bit of reality and personality to the entire subject deffently unique
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This was neat! I'd say it deserves to be on one of those anti-drug/smoking commercials on the radio. It's cool because it's easy to understand. Good Job.
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Mia | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok what I like about it:
    It is written with truth and good advice. Now if only people would take that good advice and leave it alone things would be so much better in this world and think of the lives it would save.
    What I don't like about it:
    Can't find anything I don't like about it, good job and good write!
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I liked the concept, and how you put it into a narrative from the drug/s. Good rhyme, but the rythm seemed a little choppy in places, but that added to the dimension of it coming from a twigged out drug. One thing I will have an itty bitty little beef with is that marijuana doesn't have an addictive substance and more often than not, people don't steal, ruin lives or kill for weed. Not that it's happy joy-joy and everyone should light up, just a comment. Good work.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really goo dpoem with an even better concept. It has a nice flow for the most part. There where a few lines that have too many sylables or something but it's not that bad really. Good write, I really liked it.
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]

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