This is definatly original. I love your style kid. Tell you what, you keep writing...I'll keep reading. In fact I'm going to check out more of your stuff now.Chao
wow. that's really awesome, especially since it's like a telegram. there's a lot of emotion in it, but it's not overwhelming. i really liked "tears torn in two to match heart's condition" that put an awesome picture in my mind. great job, it's an awesome read. keep up the good work.
This was creative. I like the style you put it in, I really havn't seen anyone have the same idea of making it like a telegram. It has a nice flow and I liked it. Great Write!
this was different. i liked it. i like how it was written and put together. it flowed well and just over all was a good read. my fave line tho was "The faith of a child in a fragile adult" i like that. anyhow great job keep it up
what an interesting write... dear spirit of sorrow i find myself hating you more everyday... sorrow and sadness can be so seductive... once your down it can be so hard to get back up. this telegram sounds to me like an end to an affair with sorrow... its time to move on and not spent your days wilting in a dark room where sorrow is your only company.
a coupla years back i was majorly depressed and hospitalised for 3 months... it took me a whole lotta work and Gods healing power to bring me through that experience and after a year i was completely healed... it honestly was a miracle and ppl who love God and those who didnt all know it was God that had brought my healing... anyways... i got up one sunday at church to thank everyone for their support and to tell them about my healing and all and my pastor said to me:
may the best day you've ever had be the worst day of the rest of your life
and that has stuck with me... when you wrote of turning past into future its like mourning into dancing and i think YAY!
i think it interesting that you chose this telegram to be written in rain for a coupla reasons... one coz rain can be identified with sorrow... rainy days and mondays always get me down and so making the break with sorrow on a rainy day may promise tomorrow the sun will shine but it may also mean that you can have rain without sorrow too... the second thing that struck me was that rain can be used as an idea of cleansing...
ive never had a telegram (i dont think they do them here no more) but id LOVE to get one... the way one has to say what they have to while counting words... one needs to be concise. i think this style is very cool for this write. it sounds terse and emotionless in some instances... it says what needs to be said and there is no return address... i like it!
Submission Name: Telegram, Written in Rain
