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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nightmare IV: Mephistodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xeternalshadowx
    ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121/137/55
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 1033
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1051



    Description:
       this could be confusing for some people. if anybody needs help to decipher what it means, send me a PM, ill be more than happy to tell you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNightmare IV: Mephistodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pantomimes of the dusk,
    Amidst the shadows embraced by Death's eye,
    Cursed by bindings of phantasmal lechery,
    Venture solemnly amongst the dreary wood.

    Let chaos intertwine and plague the senseless soil
    With famine stretched across diluted eyes.
    Incubi promulgate the negative messiah
    Blackened by the doom in the violated womb.

    The evil made flesh contracts in the conclave,
    For the avatar that is blood chastises the venomed soul
    And licks the pores of lepered skin,
    Coagulated under this blanket of sin.

    Suffering of mental crucifixion and bodily decay
    As they ride the inferno upon daemon stars in the sky.
    The metropolis of a bubonic race is
    Reigned silently in the shadow of the Augustus,
    Breeding upon a six foot grave,
    Nestled deep in the luxury of God,
    An unsettling neurotica.

    Within these conniptions is the truth that is longed for,
    As I release the mephisto...




    Submitted on 2005-05-28 19:43:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem reads really well, and is absolutely chock full of some superb imagery.
    'Pantomimes of the dusk' is a really strong start, not too heavy, sort of leading the reader gently in which is always appreciated by me in this style.
    Your second line is really visual, and gives the reader the dark, beautiful sort of mood I find goes hand in hand with good gothic poetry.
    The first stanze generally is good, though I wasn't too keen on the word solemnly, I felt it conflicted a little with my mental images, especially when I read on to the next line which talks of chaos.

    The second stanza is my favourite, probably because thats when things slip into anti christianity which (sorry to everyone) always makes me smile.
    'Incubi promulgate the negative messiah' is just a great great line. It kind of freaked me out a little, I got an implication there about some kind of encouter btween an incubus and the virgin. Which is nicely controversial. Anyway, I'm drifting into anti religion stuff so...

    Basically I liked this, and I liked the use of religious words throughout the poem, I felt it pulled the whole piece together and kept the reader connected to what was going on.

    A heavy read (couple of reads if I'm honest) but worth it.
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by AllyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you have a real gift with vocabulary. I was intrigues by the fact that it's classified as gothic. That's so far from what I know, and so I thought I would expand myself. The imagery wrapped it's dark and icy fingers around me, and I couldn't stop reading it!
    There's something so dark and very myserious about it...almost as though you hold the key to another darker world, and through your very black and eloquent words you are able to share it with others...such as myself...
    I love the second stanze, particularly "with famine stretched across diluted eyes." I could picture a desolate land with many starving and diseased inhabitants, eyed glazed over as a result of the pain and suffering they endure. No longer able to view life as anything more than existance.
    The lines that read:
    "And licks the pores of lepered skin,/Coagulated under this blanket of sin."
    phew, that's heavy. My skin's crawling with the vivid images that have been born inside my mind, impregnated by your imagery!
    "mental crucifixion" was pretty awsome.
    I love tripping over new styles that stare me in the face and mock my ignorance of their existence. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by Anniehodgkiss | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a poem I had to read a few times to understand. I didn't know some of the vocabulary and had to look up some of the words in order to comprehend it. I'm still not quite sure what this poem is saying, but I like the use of imagery. Particularly in the first stanza. It seems you are vividly describing the darkness of the woods physically and historically. I could be wrong in my interpretation, though. With the line "With famine stretched across diluted eyes" I think "diluted eyes" refers to those who have seen so much, but not anything of importance. Over all: I get the feeling that som dark being has corrupted a crowd of people. Interesting read even if I didn't fully understand it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Benjamin Marr | [ Reply to This ]


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