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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Ringdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Anchiale
    ASL Info:    32/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 88/73/14
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 982
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1191



    Description:
       Deals with 7+ years of making bad decisions, which resulted in a lifetime of sorrow.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Ringdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Seven years of no one listening,
    and parents dictating who I was to be with,
    brought me this ring.
    The ring with 7 stones symbolizing the past,
    matched with a gold band under it representing the future.

    And from this ring,
    thanks to the man who stated I was his everything,
    all I have witnessed is pain.
    From his inferiority complex
    mixed with emotional downplays,
    to a slap-in-the-face paternity test
    from sneaking around with his EX...
    This ring has brought me nothing but stress.

    However, when I feel my lowest
    and life in this hellhole becomes unbearable,
    I stare at this ring.
    It has given me many material things
    accounting for what is really missing.
    Others look and say they are blessings,
    and that I should thank GOD everyday for this ring...

    This ring,
    from where many see
    but only a few know.
    This ring,
    from where nothing but heartache grows.
    This ring,
    a promise built upon guilt and lies.
    This ring,
    symbolizes my marriage, which will be my demise.




    Submitted on 2004-04-07 15:18:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well this turned out to be more of a storytelling session for me rather than a poetry reading but either way, it's not "bad." I basically just found myself upset over the fact that the girl wasn't divorcing the jerk and pawning the ring for money (and really that suggestion in itself presents too much grief and regret.)
    | Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      oh honey!
    That was amazing, and sweet and hauntingly sad... I loved it with a infinite sadness.. and I hurt that you have felt this pain...

    i once wrote a piece entitled He Cares... you should check it out, it closely resembles this piece, and may show you that you are stronger in aspect than you may ever dream...

    Ora
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      You really made me feel this one....I used to have a ring like that, metaphorically speaking. The ring is like your trap, your cage...but even canaries in gold gilded cages cannot be happy. You shared a painful thing and yet made it beautiful...thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      your feelings are portrayed very well with this write, the whole "ring" idea is very original and quite fitting of the nature of your problems. goddamn am i rambling or what? anyways, i liked it, could use some more rhyme, but thats just my thing
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really sad, and beautiful, i like it a lot, but lke Webster said, those are used to much, try to find different words to express those feelings. keep writing, looking good! ~Sicobe
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Descriptive. Very emotional. A story rarly told through writing, I would say. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It just proves how much you love each other thought and the ring is a perfect symbol of that.
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Great allusion. Terrible story though >_< sorry to hear it. The ring locks you into formalities and binds you into unholy unity even the contrary, material unity. Do your best to elaborate in lines like, "all I have witnessed is pain." as they are commonly overused. I feel pained. Don't directly say what you feel, show it through parable or connection. You may want to create a tone of the writing emphasizing how happy you were when it first came to be and how it gradually destoyed you.
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by Webmaster | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the emotion is this piece...I feel bad because it means you've been through pain, but I love the work that's come from it...I don't think there's any feedback I could give you...
    ~Jaime Lee Pachétte~
    | Posted on 2004-04-07 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]


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