This was good but i thought it could be more discipted and longer the poem was original like samyalone said.the flow wasn't there i didn't feel it at all.well i don't know what else to say hope to hear from u and keep writing.
This was really good, but I agree with seven11. It needs something more to it. I like it still. Maybe if you work on it a little bit it will come out a little better. Don't get me wrong please. It's good, but needs more detail.