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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: God vs. Satandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Orin
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Maine
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 86/83/37
    Words: 368
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 203
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2202



    Description:
       Something I wrote a really long time ago and just found.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGod vs. Satandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Two men were sitting outside a small cafe, intently studying the chessboard that was placed on the table between them. One, dressed in a suit so white it seemed to emanate light. The other, wore an outfit in tones so dark, it appeared to absorb light.

    "...Oh come now, James, that is ridiculous. You cannot possibly feel the same about all of them."
    "Well, I do."
    "Six billion. Six billion of them and only a tenth, if you are lucky, even believes in your existance!"
    "I still love them all. Unconditionally, like a mother loves her children."
    "Jim! Look at what they are doing! They are destroying everything you create. Remember the Lycans? The Vampires? Dragons even! All creations of yours, and what did those ungrateful little..."
    "Steven!"
    "Right...sorry...What did they do? They hunted them down and murdered them all. One by one."
    "I intervened, and made matters worse. I let my anger get the best of me and killed all but a few of them, and where did that get me? At the time, they feared me! I don't want them to fear me, Steve, I want them to love me."
    "Love! Get real, Jim, they have no idea what love is! Look at them, even as we speak, they are killing each other. Destroying the Earth. These...creations of yours aren't perfect like you intended them to be. They are vile, greedy, horrid...abominations! By the way, I still think that flooding this rock was the best decision you ever made."

    A silence fell between the two men. Steve reached into the pocket of his jacket and after a few seconds of digging around, produced a long, cyllindrical metal object. He unscrewed the bottom of it and pulled out a cigar. He unwrapped it from the plastic, which encased it, and deftly snipped off one of the tips with a pair of clippers that he fished out of a pocket in his suit. His companion stretched out his hand with a lit lighter. Steven thanked his friend and took a long drag. "Stale-mate" He announced as the last white piece left the board leaving just the two kings.





    Submitted on 2005-05-29 18:12:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks to everyone for the comments.

    I doubt I'll be writing any kind of sequel or extension to this piece.
    I've taken the advice into consideration, and re-structured the dialogue.
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great read. It puts you into perspective a bit. This piece portrays some talent and I look forward to reading more of your work. Good job
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      this makes very little sense but it was awesome! you should add more so it makes sense and give me a notice about the rewrite thanx bunches for the laugh!
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by blahblahgurl | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm...a very interesting piece. Interesting format, which could use a little work. In some places, the flow was choppy, but otherwise, pretty good.
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, somehow reminds me of Bedazzled (I have NO idea how that one came up!) The paragraph where they are talking was a bit confusing at first, since all the sentences seemed to mesh together and it was hard to distinct who was talking. Maybe a space or instead of "Well, I do." "Six billion. Six billion of them and only a tenth, if you are lucky,
    even believes in your existance!" "I still love them all. Unconditionally, like a mother loves her children."
    you could try:
    "Well, I do."
    "Six billion. Six billion of them and only a tenth, if you are lucky, even believes in your existance!"
    "I still love them all. Unconditionally, like a mother loves her children."
    Just a little suggestion. Other than that..it was quite an interesting story, good job
    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]



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