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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I know.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brack-Attax
    ASL Info:    21/male/phx
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 175/116/21
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 334
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 751



    Description:
       I'm better now. nomore drugs.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI know.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Understanding your feelings, getting darker
    like banana peelings.
    struggling socially, you
    search the streets,
    late at night.
    In hope to find that next
    snowhite line.
    up your nose,
    regain your high.


    I know.... I was there.


    No more!

    I faught that war,
    found the door,
    saw the light...
    I speak to you now-- to replenish your sight.
    hoping to help,
    make things right, stop your mother's cries.

    So instead of searching the streets.
    you'll be home asleep.
    End the grief.

    Drugs-----What a disease :(

    That you don't need.




    Submitted on 2005-05-30 01:02:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi there! Just want to say I like your poem! How true this is! Lots of us have "been there, done that" and wish we never had! Glad to hear you found your way out too! Got no time for that in my life anymore either and there are a few people I wish could have followed me. Lost one of them. Nothing good comes from evil! Take care!
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Mike.
    I know it probably wasn't your intension to make some cry with this, but I was very near having tears. I know all too well both sides of this poem...

    I really liked the flow of this, it seemed hesitant and it worked well with the subject. Um...I really don't know what else to say.

    Good write

    Kim
    | Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      i like ur flow in and out of the forum. hot [censored]. i didn't know u REALLY did that [censored]. good for you that u kicked the habit. i'm proud to be ur enemy any day of the week.~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Poignant piece.
    Thanks for going there. Sorry you had to live the lesson to learn it.
    Maybe it will help someone else to learn from your experience.

    Suggestion:
    I think, "So instead of you searching the streets." works better as So instead of searching the streets.

    The you in the line seems wordy.

    Thanks again!
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that this is a poem that gets to the point and isn't redundant. I like how you describe the darkening feelings to that of a bannana peel. It really does plant a vivid image in your mind. You also go on to describe the social struggles and many other things that people suffer when they do drugs. Out late at night in desperate search for something that causes "disease." Then it goes on to describe the narrator's breaking away from that former life and the struggle it took to break away. The poem then ends in describing the advantageous of being without a drug life. I like the narrative nature of this poem and it was an inspiring tale. I haven't ever lived that kind of drug life you described, but this poem helps me understand it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Benjamin Marr | [ Reply to This ]



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