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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pride stood in the waydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shombray
    ASL Info:    18/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.31 - 103/91/26
    Words: 325
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1861



    Description:
       I wrote this poem because in most relationships it is known that the girl is the one who is upset and cant get over haer ex.But guys have this drama too but they let their mantality stand in the way at times.


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    dotsPride stood in the waydots
    -------------------------------------------


    What used to be the greatest lovers
    Are arguing back and forth at each other
    She says he never takes her out anywhere
    She says it is over because he don't care

    He says he is busy most of the time
    And all she does is complain and whine
    He says "I am glad that we are threw"
    "I don't need your love and I don't need you!"

    That made her not want to stay
    She gets up and walks away
    He walks away with his pride
    Gets in his car and takes a ride

    As he is driving , thoughts run through his head
    About the wrong things he has done and said
    He could have taken her to a place or two
    This would have made their love better too

    His heart is starting to grow heavy
    And now he misses her already
    Now his longing for her starts to grow
    But men can't show these feelings you know

    The next day she calls to say she's coming over to his place
    And tells him to put what she has ever bought him in a suitcase
    As he puts the items in the suitcase
    He thinks he should say how he feels to her face

    She knocks on the door waiting for a reply
    He tells her to come in and even says hi
    But she says" I want the suitcase thats on the floor"
    "So I can leave and not look at you anymore"

    Now is the time for him to say
    How he's sorry in so many ways
    But he hands her the luggage and closes the door
    Knowing he won't ever see her anymore

    And now he feels bad that he could not say
    How he loves and misses her everyday
    They could have been back together on this day
    But his stupid pride stood in the way




    Submitted on 2005-05-30 04:28:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      this is true most guys do let pride get in the way this did bring me to tears because of things that has happened to me today between me and my b/f anyways still looking forward to the second part of the other poem but anyways keep up the good work
    kristen
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you are so right when you say "foolish pride" because people do let their pride stand in the way a lot of the time and not just men I think sometimes women are guilty of the same thing. But,I have been married so long I have learned about those things and I try to tell my wife I love her on a daily basis. But, all couples ave their little spats and disagreements, just a part of life. I think you did well on this one even though it didn't really have a happy ending, not all relationships do and that really makes it more real. I enjoyed the read ...
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the write. You had a few grammatical mistakes, when you said "We are threw", it should be "We are through".
    In the 3rd stanza, it was a bit short, compared to the others, and made it sound slightly choppy.
    But otherwise, good read ;
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]


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