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    dots Submission Name: Electric Ecstatic Lovedots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 804

       This is a metaphoric retelling a recent Tantra experience in gazing.

    It is a word play on a charge of static electricity as ecstatic love. This was a zap that packed a punch, but passed quickly with no lasting affect, except to reflect on that moment as being at one with the universe. I image a final union with the beloved might be like having this experience last for eternity.

    Don't really know, just thoughts.

    I recommend it be read quickly with as few breaks as possible to get the feeling of intensity.

    I hope you enjoy it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsElectric Ecstatic Lovedots

    The follicles stand straight
    at the nape of my neck.
    We align soul to soul
    eye to eye, hearts open
    expanse to expanse.
    Sparks fly
    from electric

    I look. No I gaze.
    No I fall into space,
    and emerge riding
    past stars
    on electric

    Riding lightning
    moves fast
    but disappears
    in a flash
    leaving charged ash
    to be cast across
    the vast void
    No echo
    for the crackle
    of electric

    my beloved
    takes body to
    show me
    the power
    place and
    of electric

    Submitted on 2005-05-30 15:48:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it's gazing into my lover's eyes.. a moment in time., that connection is electric, ecstatic. for it to last, that's the challenge, the beauty of love. i'm working on it and gazing and falling. *sigh*
    thanks for this reminder..
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it, i did read it fast, and it seemed to just...well flow so well and it did zap : ) the repitition of the title worked well in this poem..the third staza was my favorite, especially the first couple lines of it..the whole poem was really silky and it was clear but subtle..if that makes much sense...the first staza had the most imagery which is the best way to start out a poem b/c it gives base for the readers not to fall off into well a vast void...kudos its an amazing write..
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]
      The wording , structure, and format of the peice, in addition to the repetitition , work very nicely with this peice.... i turned a 'fletting' experice into something very memorable and electrical. I particularily enjoyed this stanza.

    look. No I gaze.
    No I fall into space,
    and emerge riding
    past stars
    on electric

    The look , gaze , falling into space.. this incremental effect creates a movemnt into deeper consciosuness. very lovely.
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very interesting, and very vivid.

    The repetition of 'electric estatic love' works nicely, and gives it that feeling of intensity.
    I enjoy how it moves quickly from one point to another, kind of like an electric shock.

    'I look. No I gaze.
    No I fall into space..'
    this is beautiful, brilliant.
    it is as if the narrator is opening up to passion becoming more passionate, falling into the beauties of the universe and the people around them..

    I quite liked the structure too.
    Thanks for another intriguing read.

    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]

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