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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love's a Bitchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blindly-N-Love
    ASL Info:    17/F
    Elite Ratio:    4.61 - 197/141/29
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 738



    Description:
       My friend can do so much better then this guy. And hes pissed because I wont date his friend who is 20 and besides that he lied to me about his age saying he was 17!! I mean what the hell!! And now he doesnt like me, and that hurts her. And its all a huge difficult situation. . and it sucks! So I wrote this, kind of venting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove's a Bitchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Girl, all that boy wants is some ass,
    He acts like you have no class.
    You could do alot better than that,
    Instead, you pretend to be his mat.
    There's no way to tell,
    All of which he has with-held.
    He drives you up the wall,
    I've never seen anyone become so small.
    But you let him do it,
    All of his twisted shit.
    You keep it all from me,
    But you forget that I still see.
    He doesn't like me, your best friend,
    That right there should declare the end.
    He's ruining our friendship,
    Do you want that or yalls fucked up relationship?
    I'll understand what you pick,
    But remember, Life's a Bitch.




    Submitted on 2005-05-30 20:38:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hows that saying go" Lifes a [censored] and then you die" well it has meaning hear. This poem was real good except the" yalls" part. Could of used" in your" instead but it still was a really, really good poem and its nice to know that people still care what there friends are going through.
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I rly looooved this peom. Reminds me of sumthing my friend Sarah says to me everyday about sum1 who isnt the best to me. Believe me this was a great peom. And a f ucked up relastionship it is. keep writing

    Love from Within
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem. And I agree with you 100 % love is a [censored]. My boyfriend just broke up with me about a week ago, and I was over him before he did break up with me, but it still hurt. And then I started liking this other guy and yeah well I gotta kinda hurt after I asked him out. But anyways. I like this poem and I believe you should always put a best friend first, not some guy that will probably end up hurting you down the road. But yeah I agree with you Love is a [censored]. Great poem...keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by poeticstorm | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you'd do better to break free of the simplistic rhyming scheme at the end of each line, and go for something a little more . . . subtle. The sentiment behind your work is good, and you have a nice conversational tone, and yes, I realize you're young and learning and all that . . . but your use of language suggests you're all grown up, so hey . . . mix it up a little. Do some rhyming where we least expect it. Try a little parallelism, antithetical parallelism, or even some Isoverbal Prosody, you know?

    Break free of the clichés. Remember, a poet wants to be quoted, so say something uniquely YOU.

    Be creative.
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      this would make a good song. add a few more lines to it and maybe put in a chorus and youd have a pretty kick work of art. great job.

    -BB-
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by BloodBaptism | [ Reply to This ]
      nice write and so true thanx for your comments and i see you really enjoyed skeletons it is a great piece i think its one of my favorites too
    it really bit the people i dedicated it to in there heart thanx again
    by the way the sequal to this is Eyes of Sandman post today or tomorrow
    you post was a great write and very enjoyable read
    thanx again sandman
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]



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