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    dots Submission Name: I don't need thisdots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 694

       having old memory of what my mom has done. please comment.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI don't need thisdots

    Every time I stood up for what I thought was right
    You just shot me down.
    I would be high in the clouds
    but you would just bring down with the insults and guilt trips.
    When I fell back down to the ground
    You would kick me around like a old dog that you say i'm.
    People say you can't teach a old dog new tricks.
    Well this old dog learned a new trick.
    Stand up for himself and say
    Fuck you, I don't need you anymore.
    I don't need the abusive
    I don't need to be your slave
    I don't need to be your son
    Do I have to keep going on
    or do you get the point this time mom.

    Submitted on 2005-05-30 21:13:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I am sooo sorry that you ahve togo through that with your mom, and what you said in this poem is exactly how I feel, except it's with my Dad! (lol) Isn't it a shame that we are the future of America,and our parents can't even stand us? I love your anger and frustration throughout this poem and how you just le it go in the end, and you know what? I'm glad you stuck up for yourself! Good for you! I loved this anyways, awesome write!
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Cydsecret | [ Reply to This ]
      well this sounds like you a lot, the feelings of hate are coming through very strong in this poem and i hiope that you don't hate your mom to much don't ever hit her(saying that just to be safe) other then that no spelling errors and the flow is weak but it is ok for the kind of poem that you wrote and you can teach old dogs new tricks i've done it with my dog but you aren't a dog and don't call yourslef a dog not good for your slef image, good venting.
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, besides some typos, and being a bit choppy. It seamed more venting then anything. On a scale from1 to 10, 10 being the best, I would rate this peice a 6. I needs a little work.
    Keep up the writes and I'll keep reading.

    god bless,
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!! i really loved this!! you used very good word usage..i think alot of people can realate to this including me..i allways say im not going to let some1 get me down, but they allways do...they grind me down to a little stub. anyways. great way putting your emotions into this peice....Create4ever
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Enleigh | [ Reply to This ]

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