Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Wasted years

Author: Damien Vladimir
ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122 /89 /35
Words: 80
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1403
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 513


Wasted years

drenching weakness through my habits
i'm drenching the years in havoc
separate me from this negative structure
give me a form of fixture

numb my mind synapsis
leave me lifeless with pure panic
what i give is nothing grand
for when i get i set the stand

I never awoke from the dream
when in the air, my mind is shattered in debris
so humbble when i scream
with eyes so innocent, my recital brings my actions menacing

Submitted on 2005-05-31 01:02:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  god damn VERY good write, and a well focused great poem with HUGE potentail, wish it wa slogner, id gladly read more of your work but its 1 am and im goign to bed nice way to finish the night, thank you for your time and concideration to come write this and submit it to this community
| Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?