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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Hurt Torn Little Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Enleigh
    ASL Info:    16/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    2.32 - 21/32/13
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 210
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       BEFORE YOU READ THE POEM READ THIS!!!!:this poem is not a bout me or anyone i kno and the poem is not meant to be in anyway messed up!!!!its just a really sad story..(so dont freak out)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Hurt Torn Little Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hi my name is Kori,
    my life is sad I must say
    and im here to tell you my story.
    First I must warn you, I am only 8.
    It's pretty scary,
    because I'v allready picked a date.
    My Mommy's gone,
    My Daddy's a drunk.
    I know it's wrong,
    but I want him gone.
    My Mommy didn't deseve to die.
    Why did it have to happen,
    Im going to make him cry.
    He thinks I didn't see,
    He thinks he gotta away with murder.
    Mommy dont worry, its me.
    What he did was so so bad,
    I can't belive what I'v done.
    Tonight I shot my Dad




    Submitted on 2005-05-31 08:43:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was explosive! I really enjoyed this peice.
    I liked how it flowed from start to finish, how the story unfolded. And I pray to god this wasn't real, and if it was you have my prayers.
    On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the best, I'll rate it an 11. Way to go.
    Keep up the good word, and I'll keep reading.

    god bless,

    illusions35904
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! this is very good! it brought emotion to em and i thgouht it was very good! u could try in use larger words even thoughu said ur only eight u have alot of potential and i think if u keep on keeepin on that u can be the best u wanna be and that u dont have to die! great job keep up teh good work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...um...ok...i really feel the anger behind this. i like how you show Kori...a young girl that takes matters into her own hands sorta like Matilda...in a really weird way this reminded me of that little kid in the Grudge...killing people...except Kori had a better reason and more self control...keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Alyra | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very good..i like it a lot...this little girl has problems...but i am glad that you aren't talking about yourself or anyone you know...the world doesn't need another psychopath...
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by BuckeyeBoy | [ Reply to This ]



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