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Hi my name is Kori,
my life is sad I must say
and im here to tell you my story.
First I must warn you, I am only 8.
It's pretty scary,
because I'v allready picked a date.
My Mommy's gone,
My Daddy's a drunk.
I know it's wrong,
but I want him gone.
My Mommy didn't deseve to die.
Why did it have to happen,
Im going to make him cry.
He thinks I didn't see,
He thinks he gotta away with murder.
Mommy dont worry, its me.
What he did was so so bad,
I can't belive what I'v done.
Tonight I shot my Dad
| This was explosive! I really enjoyed this peice.|
I liked how it flowed from start to finish, how the story unfolded. And I pray to god this wasn't real, and if it was you have my prayers.
On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the best, I'll rate it an 11. Way to go.
Keep up the good word, and I'll keep reading.
|| Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ] || WOW! this is very good! it brought emotion to em and i thgouht it was very good! u could try in use larger words even thoughu said ur only eight u have alot of potential and i think if u keep on keeepin on that u can be the best u wanna be and that u dont have to die! great job keep up teh good work!||| Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ] || wow...um...ok...i really feel the anger behind this. i like how you show Kori...a young girl that takes matters into her own hands sorta like Matilda...in a really weird way this reminded me of that little kid in the Grudge...killing people...except Kori had a better reason and more self control...keep it up!||| Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Alyra | [ Reply to This ] || this is very good..i like it a lot...this little girl has problems...but i am glad that you aren't talking about yourself or anyone you know...the world doesn't need another psychopath...||| Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by BuckeyeBoy | [ Reply to This ] |