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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 743



    Description:
       i had a dream one night that was so vivid, i had to write about it. it sounds a little corny, but i write how i feel, so comments would be nice to help me polish this up. thnx


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i had a dream about you
    the reality brought back so many memories
    holding me tight, everthing was neverending
    but as soon as i woke, you vanished
    and i cried

    i felt the kiss upon my lips
    and trembled when we touched
    i can remember every word
    spoken in my ear
    "i love you" over and over in my mind

    everything was gone, happiness,
    no regret was ever found
    until the day the dream ended
    i fell off of a cliff, but you weren't there to catch me

    i died inside
    and i don't know how to bring it back
    my soul is forever lost in the dream
    broken apart by an alarm clock, waiting at the end




    Submitted on 2005-06-01 02:44:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice. I can feel the emotion in this one, and I can connect. Good write. On this poem. Good job! Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem so much feeling emotion and truth. Dont you just hate it when you wake up to your alarm clock when your having a dream that you know will never become a reality. i like it keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by Natie | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything was nice until this one line just threw me.

    i fell off of a cliff, but you weren't there to catch me

    I get what you are trying to say but it comes off so blatent that it actually can take the reader away from the poem. Other than that, nice work.

    X
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this a lot. I could tell that there was a lot of emotion put into this. I know exactly what you mean. Unfortunatly, I can relate. You described it perfectly. I dont think it sounds corny at all. I love every word. Great job :-)

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


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