i love the description in the second stanza what an interesting metaphor...though it works quite well for what your describing...i like the first three stanzas...but i think the last two ones could be worded better maybe...extended on...it just seems the ending was rushed...but the first three stanzas brilliant...purps
Its raining now as I type, and I think that enhances my appreciations of this poem...Almost like a live illustration of your subject matter...
I like the fact that your ending debates briefly whether this natural phenomenon is a blessing or a curse, and settles for just a fact. Its inevitable, it will happen, and it combines both blessing and curse - and that is the conclusion I felt you were coming to.
"Peering out the window I see picasso Tarnished creams, silver greys And sun burnt oranges"
I really like this stanza - very visual, very vivid. However, I would capitalize Picasso, seeing as you're making a reference to the artist, and using that to build your image. Also, maybe think of making the colours more unusual...have blue oranges and silver greens... I think that might make that stanza even more striking...
Also, in the opening line, I dont think you need to capitalise 'Dark' - its evident enough, and contributes to the atmosphere...the capitalisation made me stumble a bit..
These are just personal thoughts, however - so feel free to disregard them
this was filled with interesting metaphors and nice imagery, overall it works, and is a very enjoyable read. i really think you could expand upon this though, make it longer, because it just seems as though there is more to be said, like it was rushed or something.
even though the ending seemed a bit rushed, it ended quite well, making known the central message of the piece.
i have to get home from school now, so i will check more stuff out in a bit.