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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mood Ringdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chihuahuii
    ASL Info:    16/f/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 75/90/36
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 344
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 880



    Description:
       I was in a bad mood yesterday (my crush gave me the wrong phone number--it happens to the best of us), so I wrote this to feel a little better. It sucks if you don't pay attention to the rhythm.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMood Ringdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My mood ring's green--
    Am I happy as can be?
    Is the tug in my heart for real?
    It doesn't know, how
    Cold, how
    Lame, how
    Whipped with tears I am
    All the puppies and flowers in the world
    Can't save me now
    Can it know me?
    Why can't it show me?
    Three dollars spend on an eye that can't see--
    Oh I see--
    This means that this should I see,
    Not green, but gray and purple, yes
    I know me.
    When I feel, the mood ring shows me
    Not me, But the heat that summer feeds
    Makes my money happy and it tells me how it feels;
    What a wonder to know
    That now even what you buy
    Cares enough as what you paid.




    Submitted on 2005-06-02 04:38:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this a lot, even though it was somewhat confusing it was really good. I like how you used the mood ring in your poem to write about your emotions. Sometimes I catch myself fondling a mood ring, wondering if it really speaks the truth... "This means that this should I see,
    Not green, but gray and purple, yes
    I know me." I just loved this line!
    Great Job!
    ~Kelly~
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by MurphyGirl44 | [ Reply to This ]
      hehe! This is really cute! Though, I was confused at the end... because you brought up how it doesn't really tell your mood but 'the heat of the day'... but then you seemed to go back to the idea that mood ring really does tell your moods? I'm not sure. I enjoyed this, what are you talking about the rhythm? I loved the beat of this part:
    It doesn't know, how
    Cold, how
    Lame, how
    Whipped with tears I am
    That was awesome. Anyhow. Great job ^-^ ~Coraz
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the title and message of this poem and understood it ...but it was difficult...you might consider re-organizing your line structures so it reads as if you are speaking...as is the whole ideal of free style poetry... as you have presented here. `always write poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]



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