“ZZZ” by mcgovern

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Submission Name: “ZZZ” dots

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Author:	mcgovern_xiii
ASL Info:	35/M/NewEngland
Elite Ratio:	4.13 - 70/91/26
Words:	232

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	248
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	713

Description:
No one seems to notice or even cares about anything any more unless a dollor amount is attached and even that is starting to fade. 250 billion tax dollars has or will be spent in the next year to kill fellow humans on the bases of a hand full of lies.

“ZZZ”

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For those with eyes to see
and those with ears to hear,
pieces of the truth are falling
the terminus of the cycle is near.
Few care to read the words as written
or know of the ones I speak.
In every parable two meanings,
the efficacious and the weak.
In the eyes of every stranger
I see a prophet I see a freak
I see demons I see devils
the righteous and the meek.
I see angels I see gods
I see wolfs I see sheep
But most of all, what I see
Is that everyone is asleep.

Submitted on 2005-06-02 16:58:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Aww that is like sooo psychadelic and all! I love all those dream poems and poems about fantasy and stuff like that. I like the repetitive language it reinforces the idea of ur asleep for a long period and zzzzz ing lol. This poem is really cool, good job mate
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem deals with the different mind sets that are in one person. This is reinforced by the following lines:
"In the eyes of every stranger
I see a prophet I see a freak
I see demons I see devils
the righteous and the meek.
I see angels I see gods
I see wolfs I see sheep"

I like how you use two radically different things to describe what is seen in a stranger. Wolf and sheep, righteous and meek... It is basically saying that humans are capable of both evil and good. A scary, but true statement about the human race. The last line

"But most of all, what I see
Is that everyone is asleep"

says that most people choose to ignore this fact. Overall: a well written poem that had an interesting message. Thanks for the good read.
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Benjamin Marr | [ Reply to This ]
  I think the rhythm could have been helped by some well placed commas, but it went pretty well in general.

I think it is I who sees a prophet when you say, "the terminus of the cycle is near." Your role call is almost complete although I prefer for religious reasons to limit my references to one God and one chief of unmentionables. You, of course, have freedom to chose your own way.

The words and message have a familiar ring, yet is particularly original to me with, "In the eyes of every stranger..." which I like. You started off with an advantage, I like this genre.
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  Ok I thought this was good. But when you got to hear I see a prophet I see a freak
I see demons I see devils
the righteous and the meek.
I see angels I see gods
I see wolfs I see sheep
But most of all, what I see
Is that everyone is asleep.

That was a little choppy, but I know what you mean. People want to hear what they want to. They want to believe everything. And the things that truly matter, that really don't care. They don't want a part or sya in it.

good work
keep writing
stephanie
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]

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