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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Creation in your handsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/160
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 1043
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCreation in your handsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is a crazy world
    I see people locked in rules,
    That were created to serve them,
    Whilst they cry hopelessly for freedom.

    Machines have gone mad,
    Cars run free at our expense
    Having a gas,
    While we gasp for cleaner air.

    Money talks
    Truths into silence
    Words get choked on and
    Hearts crack under the pressure.

    This is a crazy world
    Where machines have gone mad
    And money talks,
    The deaf into ignorance.

    Wake up to the power of creation
    The responsibility is all ours!
    The seeds we plant today,
    Are the fruits we will reap tomorrow!




    Submitted on 2005-06-03 08:43:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is an original and unusual piece. I like the way it's written and what it has to say. We should all take responsibilty for this place in which we dwell.. our surroundings and daily way of living. Although I think some go over board in this area, I do say we should notice more and do more.
    The style of writing.. or is it the word usage that I find intriquing here? And I definitely do agree with these two lines > "The seeds we plant today, Are the fruits we will reap tomorrow!"
    Very well done!
    Take Care! ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      THis is so great! shows the evil of the world that we humans have created. the end stating that we all have responsobility, what i want to know is when are we ogoing to do the right thisngs to make this world last.

    Ive been waiting for a poem like this to come around. I must check out your other writes

    Ace
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      In the length of this poem, you touched upon many things that are so true, and can click with any reader. It is one that makes you stop to take a second and think, and I like it a lot. Particularly these lines:
    "And money talks,
    The deaf into ignorance."
    show how powerful it is, even though we wish it weren't. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, nicely done! For a start I totally absolutely agree with every word, so that makes me fond of it, but I was looking for ways to improve it and couldn't really come up with anything.

    I am impressed with s4 though, where you repeat the first lines of s1,s2,and s3, very ineresting, sor of pantoum-ish!

    Very well done, spread the word!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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