Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Creation in your handsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/160
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 1027
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCreation in your handsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is a crazy world
    I see people locked in rules,
    That were created to serve them,
    Whilst they cry hopelessly for freedom.

    Machines have gone mad,
    Cars run free at our expense
    Having a gas,
    While we gasp for cleaner air.

    Money talks
    Truths into silence
    Words get choked on and
    Hearts crack under the pressure.

    This is a crazy world
    Where machines have gone mad
    And money talks,
    The deaf into ignorance.

    Wake up to the power of creation
    The responsibility is all ours!
    The seeds we plant today,
    Are the fruits we will reap tomorrow!




    Submitted on 2005-06-03 08:43:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is an original and unusual piece. I like the way it's written and what it has to say. We should all take responsibilty for this place in which we dwell.. our surroundings and daily way of living. Although I think some go over board in this area, I do say we should notice more and do more.
    The style of writing.. or is it the word usage that I find intriquing here? And I definitely do agree with these two lines > "The seeds we plant today, Are the fruits we will reap tomorrow!"
    Very well done!
    Take Care! ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      THis is so great! shows the evil of the world that we humans have created. the end stating that we all have responsobility, what i want to know is when are we ogoing to do the right thisngs to make this world last.

    Ive been waiting for a poem like this to come around. I must check out your other writes

    Ace
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      In the length of this poem, you touched upon many things that are so true, and can click with any reader. It is one that makes you stop to take a second and think, and I like it a lot. Particularly these lines:
    "And money talks,
    The deaf into ignorance."
    show how powerful it is, even though we wish it weren't. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, nicely done! For a start I totally absolutely agree with every word, so that makes me fond of it, but I was looking for ways to improve it and couldn't really come up with anything.

    I am impressed with s4 though, where you repeat the first lines of s1,s2,and s3, very ineresting, sor of pantoum-ish!

    Very well done, spread the word!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    61387

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Incubus written by monad
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    ME written by jjd
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry