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Sunshine and dew


Author: marysunshine
ASL Info:    34, Female,
Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 610 /705 /75
Words: 67
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1452
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 437



Description:




Sunshine and dew



If I were the sunshine
and you were the dew,
I’d free you from your earthly seat,
evaporating you to saturate the wind
with a touch of my sultry little finger.
You’d then meet me in heaven
and cover my brilliance
from the eyes of my worshipers
way back on earth
with your cloudy condensation blanket,
and I’ll rest while only you watch
my peace.




Submitted on 2005-06-03 13:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Hey, a beautiful write, and that reminded me the girl i love, her name is "Rocio", which , in english, means "Dew". and Well a good write my dear, thanks for reminding me her, i love her so much...
keep writing and if you have time please take a look to my writings, i hope you can give some comments,
take care
have a nice day
peace and love
Victor
| Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
  If I were the sunshine
and you were the dew,
I’d free you from your earthly seat,
evaporating you to saturate the wind

That is deffinately a quote i should use someday... that was such a unique way to say something so beautiful... i never quite heard it put like that, the idea of love, and need, and protection, and guidance all melded together... It's very well done... the whole piece, it's simply beautiful... Ack so this is the second poem of yours i've read, and now yer 2 for 2 cause i have to make this a favorite... This was fantastic my friend... Take care

Your new stalker Travisimo
| Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
  A beautiful metaphor. The touch of one person is evaporating the other into heaven where they are materialized in a private connection.

Suggestion:
I am not certain the line "way back on earth works. It seems a bit wordy. Perhaps you would want to try it with just back on earth or even just on earth.

Thanks for the beautiful images.
| Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
  beautiful... the merging of two souls, "with the touch of my sultry finger..." *sizzle* this is so sensuous and just makes me sigh.. i love the "cloudy condensation blanket." i agree with beatthedrum that perhaps you could just say "back on earth..." no need for "way" really.
nice little slice of minimalism Ms. Sunshine. makes me think of my love... *sigh*
!Cat
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow awesome.. it reminds me of something someone said to me once.. ahem.. I wont eleborate.. but that first idea of evapourating dew was great.. the rest meandered a bit but was still cool. thanx
shaun
| Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]


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