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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wont Stay at Your Feetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Amberdy
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 240/232/59
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1079



    Description:
       just a little agression/rant written towards my ex....i was really mad at him, and I'm still a little bitter...but oh well....life goes on.
    This isn't great, just releasing some frustration.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wont Stay at Your Feetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What? You think you know me?
    Wrong.
    You think you've got me all figured out,
    don't you?
    Wrong again.
    Let me be so kind to inform you
    that you have just barely scratched
    the surface of me.
    But I am now starting to see
    what you are really made of.
    And every portion of you,
    poured out in front of me for evaluation,
    gives me one more reason
    to push you away.
    So here I am,
    ...pushing you away
    You only have yourself to blame
    And everyone knows it but you.
    Open up your pretty black eyes
    and watch me turn my back to you,
    You're so indulged,
    and you're foolish enough to think
    that I'll do whatver it takes
    to stay at your feet.
    I am NOT a string wrapped around
    your precious guitar picking finger,
    and I will NOT be the fool in your game.
    So if you're looking for someone to bow to you.
    You wont find her here.







    Submitted on 2005-06-04 02:27:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I hope you felt better after writing this. :)
    I liked this piece because of the detail and emotion you put into it.
    "I am NOT a string wrapped around
    your precious guitar picking finger,"
    That gives it a touch of originality, also.
    "So if you're looking for someone to bow to you.
    You wont find her here."
    Good for you. :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
      haha, if only I can tell that to a dew people. I can see the anger and picture this scene in a movie. Maybe an office romance gone too far. Anyway, the specifics, you did a good job on capitalizing words that needed to stand out (i deteste when people capitalize random words) and the question in the beginning set the tone immediately. i like it.
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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