It doesnt really flow that well, i think that it has a good foundation but you still need to build on it. the rhyming scheme doesnt match throughout the poem. stick to one rhyming scheme and you should be alright.
i think that it has a good foundation but you still need to build on it and It doesnt really flow that well.hear? you mean hair? i thinkg that this is good dont get me wrong it just needs a little work. keep working on it and you will get it just right. lia
it good and the whole thing is wonderful. it sounds as if you truely care about this person and you tried to help them . did they not accept your help? they should have because you sound like an amazing person. keep up the awesome writes. love tina