I've always had a problem with words,
As poetic as i seem to be, its not enough
Expressing my feelings in words and music
Has always been a little bit tough
But now, I wrestle with a new challenge
I not only lack the words to write
But even more bothersome to me
I feel nothing as I lay awake at night
All my emotions I had inside my heart
The feelings of pain, love, and bitter-sweet
I feel nothing now, not hate or love
Just this cold water washing past my feet
I wake up everyday, and go through the motions
But I am not really here, so in a sense, I'm dead
I used to wish I would feel nothing
It seemed nice to not feel pain or heartbreak
I guess there is some feeling left in me,
After all, If really felt nothing,
Than this emptiness wouldn't be eating me inside.
Maybe you killed me, when you came back to life.
You were my only light As I fallowed my dark tunnel
You meant more than the world to me Adrienne,
And I guess you still do. You're still my only friend.
You know me better than I do, and always will.
All these poems posted, other than 4, are for you.
I read them all today, and thought of you.
When he took you, It felt like you had died
Hence, all the poems of your death were figurative,
But you were dead to me, I lived with it, barely...
You stopped calling because chuck got pissed
Why did you let his jelousy get between our friendship?
I know you didn't do it because you're shallow,
you did it because you couldn't deal with his shit.
Why did you let him use you, he treated you like shit!
He doesn't deserve you, not even close.
Yet he got to live with you, And I was stuck here.
He finally left, for a week, I felt like I got my friend back.
We talked everynight for the whole week.
I swore if I ever had the chance,
That I would tell you how I really feel about you. so i did.
But what was the point, you didn't believe me.
How would you feel, if you poured out your heart,
To the one person you trust, and he/she just shrugged?
You think its all a lie, Everything I lived for.
4 years ago, you talked me away from death.
You begged me not to pull the trigger.
I had nothing to live for, not even family,.
Your tears promised me a hope.
since that time, you are literally all that mattered,
but now your gone. I don't even know what to write, I'm just wasting my time.... I love you, but I gotta go now Adrienne..... Love SAM |
Submission Name: suicide note
