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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Devoted to Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sug90
    ASL Info:    14/F/U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 69/93/34
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 909



    Description:
       Take it for what you want. I guess this is kind of an experiment. It started out being a love poem for a guy and ended with being a love poem for God. So some of it probably sounds weird in the context of the poem... so tell me how I can improve.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDevoted to Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Paint me the twilight sky
    And tell me, if I love it,
    You’ll be here night after night

    Cover Your canvas with
    Nothing but white
    Don’t worry,
    I notice Your love poem
    And it tickles me pink

    Sketch me in pencil,
    Erase what You will,
    Color my life,
    Paint my imperfection
    So they will see
    Beautifully flawed,
    Can’t be painted just right

    Tell me You love me
    After the sun leaves my life
    And draw me some daisies
    Since they don’t wilt

    And I’ll write You a poem
    To give up my heart
    I’ll pour out my worship
    As these words just won’t work

    So I’ll give my life to heaven
    Entrust it to You
    Showing the world
    What work faith can do,
    With two hands and a soul
    Devoted to You




    Submitted on 2005-06-04 19:56:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      really good poem.i loved it.it was tought out in a way to kind of...trick the reader(?)
    at first they may think its about someone close to you or whatnot,& then you break those thoughts up & show people what you're really talking about.
    keep it up!
    _dancing_alone_
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by _Dancing_Alone_ | [ Reply to This ]
      colorful with deep devotion, well thought out phrases, little cute rhyming ending, you have promise :) ample spacing between like words. I can't find anything that i dont like.
    | Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      LOVE IT! can't say anything thing else but very orginial and deep. Very different. It reminds me of a poem I wrote. keep writing

    :~Diamond
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Qutedia7 | [ Reply to This ]



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