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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Someone Specialdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mastermike
    ASL Info:    16/M/NC
    Elite Ratio:    2.68 - 24/31/6
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       just a few thoughts about a passed relationship


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomeone Specialdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We met on some Autumn day
    I knew right at the moment
    That there was something special about her
    I'd never met anyone
    So comforting
    So intelligent
    So caring
    And so perfect
    Her ego seemingly formed at one with mine
    And by the time i realized that i'd fallen in love
    I'd never felt so complete,
    To this day,
    I still can't help but wonder...
    If she ever felt it too




    Submitted on 2005-06-04 21:59:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i give this a 2 for its shortness man. "Her ego seemingly formed at one with mine" is especially a well written line. though they may seem hard to come by at times push forward and work towards them. this poem ends with a nice transition making it conclude property. but what it lacks like i said is length. if it was longer it much just be an excellent poem for someone who is only 15 years of age...
    | Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, that is so sweet but sad at the same time. I cannot believe at 15 years old you could write something so profoundly beautiful. I think if it would have been longer, something might have been lost with it. Wonderful work.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      good write man, and guess what?!?! relationships only get more complicated as you get older, darn these women! (I still love you all though!) My favorite lines were:

    I still can't help but wonder...
    If she ever felt it too

    It adds a bit of mystery and confusion to the write. I like how you first start off by describing this beatiful relationship and then just dropping that bomb at the end. Those three periods are just marvelous!
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Snowball_24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice write, the conveyance of emotion on thought was good here. The last line capped it off very well , nice piece, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      It's very short, and to personal to be given out to the public. I've commented and read your other poems before and they all seem to have the same problem. I think you have alot of potential and if you tried a little harder you could be a very good poet.
    | Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by MrBear | [ Reply to This ]
      this is pretty decent, I agree with Mrbear on the probs, its still a decent poem tho...work on de-personalizing a bit.

    Storm
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by OrionsStorm | [ Reply to This ]


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