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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Too Opened Up (pt2)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shombray
    ASL Info:    18/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.31 - 103/91/26
    Words: 360
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2127



    Description:
       Tell me what you think.You have to read the first part in order to understand the second part.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToo Opened Up (pt2)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Even though he has hurt her in so many ways
    She decides to go back out with him and stay
    Most people tell her to change her mind
    And leave that no good dog behind

    So here they are taking another chance
    Trying to get back their sweet romance
    He makes all his friends apologize
    For laughing and making her cry

    The money he had taken from his friends
    Is going to her so she can spend
    The camera in his room is thrown away
    He wants to do right in so many ways

    He hugs and kisses her more than ever
    The sex is now way beyond her pleasure
    It seems that she has really forgiven him
    For making her life embarrasing and dim

    He knew that in a few days
    She would be having a birthday
    He decides to plan a party at his house
    And later on ask her to be his spouse

    On her birthday he covers her eyes
    Takes her in the house and shows the suprise
    Everyone from school is there
    To show how much they care

    So her and her man start to dance
    Take a few drinks and start to romance
    He takes her by the hand and takes her upstairs
    His great suprise for her is up there

    Candles are lit around the room and door
    Rose petals are on the bed and the floor
    First they take a bath in the bubbles
    Then he takes her to the bed to cuddle

    She tells him its hot and will turn on the air
    So she quickly runs down the stairs
    She turns off the music and tells everyone
    "Go upstairs if you want to see something fun"

    Everyone goes upstairs and opens the door
    To see something they weren't prepared for
    He is hancuffed and lying naked in the bed
    He is embarrased.He wish he was dead

    She grabs her things and gets ready to go
    "Iknew I'd get him back and he wouldn't even know"
    But now she is wondering if she should tell
    That she is beginning to swell




    Submitted on 2005-06-05 05:27:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm, so many emotions in this write that I really don't know where to start. I will say there is noth'n like the fury of a woman scorned and pay backs can be hell! So, I will simply say you really done a good job on this write in my opinion. It is interesting to read and if you keep my attention thoughout the whole thing, as you have here it's gotta be good.
    Congrads on a fine write,
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this, the girl really did get her revenge but at what cost??? It shows that pay back is a [censored] and that karma does come back twice as hard. I guess the reason why i didnt like too opened up part one was because the girl got played and she reminded me of myself not that that happened to me, but it gives me hope that one day he will get his karma and i will get my revenge. This is another great write i love all your work keep it up, keep showing that emotion its wonderful
    Natie
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Natie | [ Reply to This ]
      I so have to agree with Natie's comments! this girl is real kick ass - 10 times better write and flow than part one . . . there was a time that i was thinking she might get played again but it turned out Surprisingly lovely . . . absolutely adore karma!
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this alot ... it seems a perfect continuation fo the one before it ... keep goign with this im postiviely stuck on this story ..
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by broken_dreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good but it needs another one im hooked on the story also lol it sounds like something that could really happened maybe one day i'll learn to write a part one and part two lol maybe i'll work on it while im here in va lol well keep up the good work
    kristen
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]


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