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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: issuesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kristian
    ASL Info:    30/male/modesto, ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 71/44/29
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1505
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1380



    Description:
       at first i wasnt gonna share this one cause it is very personal. in fact every time i read it i cry. it was the most darkest time in my life i would say. i lost my son for really no reason. but instead of doing what i had to do to get him back, instead i danced with the devil to h=try and hide the pain of losing the bestest friend i ever had my little boy jared. its not my usal style infact i would say its somthing i had to just let out.. but check it out, please
    and tell me what u think
    peace
    kristian



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsissuesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i am becoming tired of this place
    im growing closer twords the end of my rope
    i have lost all hope
    no where to turn i start to slam dope
    <so i sit here thinking of you
    it hurts me more then life when i dont see you
    i wish she knew how much i miss you>
    i need to clear these issues one last time
    get some closure for the mind
    clear these issues feeling fine
    cuz i can not stand my reality
    i try to refrain from going insane
    i miss my boy and im being stabbed by the pain
    two visits, one year it becoming perfectly clear that becoming my father is growing near

    i used to do drugs to get high
    now i do them to get by
    can someone please tell me why its so hard to stay high?
    why my friends keep dying without saying goodbye?
    why i lost my son?
    why i constantly cry?
    and how much i hate it when he says i love you daddy goodbye

    its hard to cope , once again i turn to dope
    my only friend with no 'r', my only hope

    i need to clear these issues
    need to clear these veins
    feel this rage, these thoughts on this page
    i miss my boy and im about to collapse in this cage
    in this cell
    my own created hell
    god help me

    kristian




    Submitted on 2005-06-05 11:29:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "growing toward the end of your rope" is frightening and haunting as well. Losing hope and turning toward drugs goes hand in hand. losing someone be it by neglect or death is one of lifes emblamatic tragedies. The realization that the drugs are not getting you high anymore but merely just to get by, means to me
    that it ceased being fun and is a rock you hang around your neck. I connect ohhh so deeply with that being a former drug addict myself. you see yourself in a cell, trapped and alone but you do have the key to better yourself. the crying out to God means to me you are helpless to help yourself and are reaching out for something beyond you to help you. In all this you want to change that is your hope the sun on your horizon. overall a heartfelt tragic but hopeful account only because the need/want to change.
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow that is a hard thing to deal with.it's scary how just a few things can so tare up our lives and destroy us.i'm sorry about what hapend with your son,and i hope that you are doing better now.
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by dreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm not one of those people who cry a lot but when i read this i was pretty much on the verge of tears, this is a brilliant account of how you feel and you shud never be ashamed of it. i really, truely hope that things get better for you because you seem to be honestly trying to change, just hold on

    God bless
    -miffy
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Miffy the rabit | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm at no words right now. It seems like you really want him back. Perfect write, its very deep and personal. I can connect with your write because of things thats been happening in my family (deaths, etc.). Wow, just keep on writing. And your spelling was a little off, but still great write.

    :~Diamond
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Qutedia7 | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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