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An Eternal Fight Against

Author: Aj
ASL Info:    21/M/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 102 /110 /29
Words: 258
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1517
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1576


( revised again, but it still doesn't completly rhyme, but i don't feel like shifting everything around. meh)

An Eternal Fight Against

i only wish to live my life
i mean no one any harm
i'll live my life and pay my dues
and i'll give this world my heart

a battle rages on capital hill
over a country they say is ours
peace i can't find while this eats at my mind
thier lies are tearing me apart

they divede us in half
though they say we stand strong
we argue and fight,
we debate and carry on

if only i could live my life
in the safety of my own world
there decisions affect all, there deads undone,
while our country takes the fall

i'm afraid that my future was never really mine
when the decision is theres. no! it's not alright
why was i placed on this terrible earth?
to witness the pain and cries ?

land of the free, the american dream
they hold for me just out of reach,
spend my time at the back of the line
while they fprfill their greed.

i'd take there lies back, i'd revoke there attacks
if i could i surely would
they've folded our hand, no one seems to stand
for the values america once knew

we are all humans we should prove it
this is our world we should not forfit
they only mean harm there political charm
crafted from bullshit, to wake from slumber is often hard

a prefect world i'll never see. free i'll never be
joined until death do us part.

Submitted on 2004-04-08 00:23:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is good too! I like it. It would be even better if it rhymed! With some editing it would be great. Again, I love the concept of this piece. Great job.
| Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by Dark Angel | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked this alot. i hate the corrupt government too! there are quite a few misspelled words though.
| Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by mallyland | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like the concept i like the poem a lot...i love the rhyme scheme (if u havn't noticed i like rhyming poems)i love the part that says "we're all humans, it's time that we prove it" that's so true...freedom is a state of mind! keep on...
| Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by AngelOfAnarchy | [ Reply to This ]
  Use literary conventions to form breaks and emphasise points. Revise to remove gramatical and spelling errors do not string together ideas like I have done here to illustrate the point. Beware of clichés. Shows promise, keep trying.
| Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]

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