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Like a painting


Author: Semper Fidelis
ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135 /185 /60
Words: 174
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1167
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1166



Description:


I just seem to get in these moods lately. I explained it to sum12luv. this is how I write


Like a painting



Pass me up-
Look over me-
afterall I am insignificant-
No one should feel like me.

It's not like I care
or anything-
It's not I like I feel
or anything-
It's not like I long for someone
or anything-

All I want is to be loved-
All I need is to feel-
To reach out and feel
contact, a connection-
Something other than pain
to let me know I'm alive-

Love.
Like a sweet smell in the air-
you know of it's goodness
but you can't taste it..
It's too far away.

It's like a painting-
You know how beautiful it is
but wanting to be one with it
is impossible-

It just continues to evade me.
I seem to have this fairytale idea
stuck in my head-
that one day that one girl
will walk up to me being
everything I wanted-
Then we'd walk off into eternity
together-

But I don't know if that day..
That sweet beautiful day
will ever come.




Submitted on 2005-06-05 23:47:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  My friend I share the same thoughts
I want to share something with you
I am 37 years old and never once did I feel I was in love as in a romance
I think I am afraid of the pain a romance brings
I have only seen destruction in every single relationship ive seen
True Love always seems to lead to pain
That is what scares me
By the way where are you stationed
I hope and pray you are not overseas write now
Please share with your fellow soldiers I am one man who prays for there well being and truefully Thank Them from the bottom of my Heart for sharing the same vision as me
A world where everyone can feel safe and children do not have to grow up in fear
God Bless you all
Your Friend
Ron Ramonas
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very interesting and heartfelt peice of poetry and deep emotions. You have written and expressed your feelings uniquely and with your own kind of style. I like the way you write and display your feelings in this poem and I agree you never know about love it could be right in front of you a long time before you even realize it is there and it just might be someone you know already, and that is truely amazing, I will add thia to my favs I enjoyed thi poem a great deal.
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this. To me, it says no matter how much a person puts up the front of being hard enough to not care, not feel, they still want to love and be loved.

All I want is to be loved-
All I need is to feel-
To reach out and feel
contact, a connection-
Something other than pain
to let me know I'm alive

I like this stanza the most. Love can heal most any wounds and it's something everyone wants.
The only thing critique I can come up with, and it's really not a critique is don't hold out for what you think is perfect. You'd be amazed at how someone you don't think about could be the love of your life.
Good luck,
Traci :)
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
  I can defintely relate...but i'm looking for a guy since i'm a girl. therefore i'm straight, lol. ANYWAYS, this poem is what alot of people could probably relate to. Sounds like a great song to! I think everyone is afraid that they're not gonna find someone to love forever. And sometimes i feel like i don't feel, like it says in ur poem. But with love you can feel and...i can't explain it out loud, i just know exactly what ur talkin' about, lol. Keep up this unexplainable but great writes up! lol
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by _NowOrNever_ | [ Reply to This ]


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