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Kiss Of Death


Author: Podenco del infierno
ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205 /195 /38
Words: 212
Class/Type: Poetry /Vampire
Total Views: 1210
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1424



Description:


just something i came up with one day...i think it is okay...what do you think...?


Kiss Of Death



I look into your eyes,
You are my life.
I hold you tight,
Running my hands through your dark,
Silky hair.
Whispering to you,
"Everything wil be alright."
You become confused.
I can feel fear through your skin,
Yet you do not push away.
I look into your eyes.
Your beutiful dark eyes,
So innocent and fragile.
With a seducing gaze from my eyes,
I softly smile.
I pull your neck to my lips.
Softly I start to kiss you,
And you are no longer filled with fear,
But a feeling of ecstasy.

The bright moon appears behind dark clouds.
I look at the silver sun,
You are my life.
Softly,
Razor sharp teeth,
Puncture your neck.
And you become lost in yourself.
I take into my body,
Your life.
You grow weak.
But soon enough,
You will again be strong.

Blood trickles down your neck,
As I pull away from you.
I look into your eyes,
And you softly fall to the ground.
I kneel down beside you,
Licking off of my lips,
The final taste of your blood.
I whisper into your ear
As you slowly drift away,
"Everything will be alright,
I have given you the Kiss Of Death,
For tomorrow,
You will wake up dead."




Submitted on 2005-06-06 11:44:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Well I like it.

Softly,
Razor sharp teeth,
Puncture your neck.
And you become lost in yourself

I think that this is the best part...it makes me think that he is in love with her before he gives her this dark gift, I don't know I guess I am just a silly girl and this part really spoke to me.
| Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  that’s cool, beautiful, how sweet it is, so descriptive...it's comforting for some reason, well done, the flow of it was excellent, its strange, but in a good way, great job :)
Sincerely Deserted
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by Deserted | [ Reply to This ]
  intresting... the flow, like deserted said, was great, a little confusing, but that could just be me. But, i like the genre, most people can't get the whole vampire thing down. It's especially complicated when you're trying to write poetry. Well done.
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
  Interesting pick of genre. I haven't seen any good poetry/prose/anything based on vampires. It's finally nice to see something made good of the name. :]. I liked the flow and how you were able to describe what was happening so clearly. I suddenly became much more calm and soothed after reading this. Why? Because I really liked the idea behind this. It's become another victim to my favorite list. Great write. Hope to hear more from you.

Take. Care.

-bianca
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by binkerz | [ Reply to This ]
  *happy dance* ..nothing quite like romantic vampire poems ...This is really well written actually ...The main character had such an evil/sweet feeling all through this ..I just love it ....good job
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
  waz! that was great.. bravo... more detail would have been nice, i liked it, some spelling errors, but we're human so it doesn't matter.

See I love the whole vampire thing, it's cool. I once tried to write something that dealt with vampires, but I'm to hard on myself and it didnt' work for me.. keep writing.

fav part:

Softly,
Razor sharp teeth,
Puncture your neck.
And you become lost in yourself.
I take into my body,
Your life.

and

As I pull away from you.
I look into your eyes,
And you softly fall to the ground.
I kneel down beside you,
Licking off of my lips,
The final taste of your blood.

Wisdom
| Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by darkwisdom623 | [ Reply to This ]
  I've already read this before, but i'll comment anyway...I think it's really great...there's a lot of imagery and the wording and flow make it really beautiful....I really enjoyed your choice of subject...sorry i don't have any helpful suggestions...keep up the great work
| Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]


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