watch me fill this blank page
as i twirl my pen through my fingers and over my bruised knuckles
like a baronet.
watch me make the world fly.
the light will catch on my hair,
wrapping it in red,
that tint it always turns when pigments unfold.
my eyes are emerald,
the color of the cheap t-shirt you're wearing.
it's the one i like best.
blank like the page was before i began to write a story
a story about a story.
not one full of dream-like love
or red-ribbon-lacing-your-wrists kind of pain
just a simple story
and all of the possibilities within.
you will lock the door and sit before me
with your feet crossed at the ankles
your waxy lips will turn up
in that melting kind of smile
and i'll begin to write
that story you've been waiting for
just words across a page
not knowing what to unfold
just letting them come
and letting them go.
kind of like those ideas you get when you're a kid
something as simple as a lemonade stand on the street corner
you only make a dollar or two
but when you're only ten
it seems like a million.
i remember when i was in junior high
i was called "speed racer"
cause i was fastest at the skating rink
my blades were my wings.
but that's all over now,
ever since they shut that place down.
you will shift your weight
and ask me how it's coming,
and i will tell you,
it would kill you if you knew.
our eyes will meet for a moment
as if we were the only two people in existance.
another moment where time will stop.
and i will find myself captivated
by your melting kind of style.
sort of how i felt when
i saw the sun set for the very first time
i saw it reflecting in your eyes.
the same way i saw the world through my mothers.
i remember she'd cry to sleep at night,
wishing my father would come home
but he was gone forever
because that's where you go when you die
you go to forever
and that's where you stay.
you will fix your hair
about what shoes you should have worn.
you always wear your blue sneakers
because you know i like how they match your eyes
only they don't shine as brightly.
you hope for long goodbyes
just another way to stay for eternity,
and you know
i don't believe in goodbyes at all
so lets just stay here
because that's where you go when you actually feel alive
and that's where you stay.
watch me sing under my breath
my blue jeans hugging me close
meeting with my pink shirt..
it's the one you like the best.
and i will see you start to slip into sleep
as if you were an angel catching air.
i will srcibble nonsence the way mom used to tell me to..
the way the teachers used to hate.
raw emotion flowing
just more crap for more eyes to see
but gold to me.
your head will fall and then
you're smile will return
in that melting kind of way.
there are parts of me
and that's where i'd like them to stay.
you'll catch me moving my head
from side to side
with the song running through my mind
the one you wrote the words to
"i love you"
better than any fire in the cold.
better than those ones we'd build on the beach
six feet high
and powerful beyond control.
i would wrap your blanket close to me
covering my body
from my toes to my neck.
"twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what you are
up above the world so high"
i'd wish again for something
that would kill you
if you knew what it was.
you will stand
pushing your arms above your head
stretching to the ceiling
to the skies above.
i will catch you looking over the pedastal
trying to sneak a glimpse
of my inky ideas
popping through my pen.
and i will whisper
in that playful kind of way
"do you want to die?"
this story would kill you
if you knew.
passing time the way i did when i was a kid
and mom and dad would talk for hours
in the room with the door closed..
they weren't making love
or anything like that
as if they were best friends.
only, they would kiss more than betty and i.
and a whole lot more passionate too.
their words would leave me in awe
the way you never cease to make me smile
in that melting kind of way.
the night will take over us
eating the time we have together
i will wish for a pause button
and use it the way i did when i was eight
(or somewhere around there)
and Lion King first came out.
i stumbled across it
when my finger slipped
between play and stop.
and i used it ever since.
because i wanted the moments
to last a lifetime.
until i learned that
even moments need to get away.
so while you sat there
smiling in that melting kind of way
i wrote a story
a story about a story
with moments that would
if you only knew.
and i melted away
because that's where you go
when you lose yourself
and i was so lost in you
and that's where i stayed.
a writer is hired to write words about monarchs. he finds himself completely blocked of any kind of creativity. he sits and rips, and rips and stands up to rip some more empty pages. then he sits and composes himself and writes some words...many many words about the stuggle of writing about monarchs. and in these words live tiny stories within even tinier stories...soon there are many stories to be told with a beautiful monarch kicker.
I liked this a lot, because it had so much randomness but somehow it was entirely heartfelt and sincere and I could picture you there writing wishing this never had to end but it does so lets find a way to make it end in forever where we can be, aw man this was awesome, I am adding it to my favorites.
It was so long but I didn't mind at all because it was so great! It is very well written, and I love the repetition and slight change of the lines "and that's where you stay" and "in that melting kind of way". I agree with lisa that people may not want to read it because it is so long, but who cares? You wrote it for you, not them. With a sense of nostalgia along with your admiration of the other person, this is a fantastic poem! I really don't know what else to say except that I love it and look forward to reading more from you now. :) Thanks for posting!
Length seems to creep into all of the comments on anything more than a screenful these days. I wouldn't worry about length overly. This kind of stoey is all about rambling here and there, hither and yon. It's pretty much freeform emotion as well as freeform poetry.
I really enjoyed reading this "story". I loved how you mixed the past and present to make it flow together. You created excellent visuals with colors and expressions.
You turned random thoughts and emotions into a story about love. You were writing for you, not to impress, which is something that a writer sometimes forgets to do. You let the reader get to know a little bit about you, in this.
This was nice. Please keep writing, for yourself, and let us read it.
Brightest Blessings Crystal P.S I didn't think it was too long, it was just right.
wow, first let me give you a standing ovation, this was totally awesome, I love the Alfred Hitchcock feel to it, to many it may seem random maddnes,but actually it a well crafted haunt love tale mixing in all the fears of loving a person and how you feel if they ever left you. People are very foolish not to read this story, I am going to add this to my fav.