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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: here is not gonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: k kin
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 56/51/12
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 794



    Description:
       to find a love... to find the love...and to wonder for a while if it will last.... maybe its just a dream...but since this dream is a good dream, though it seems that things will come in the way of being together...know...know somewhere inside...that someone is so special that what we have will work.
    tried a different type of rhyming scheme....
    for u shru.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshere is not gonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    here is not gone
    here is where we are
    this place is not the end
    somehow we belong

    what matters in the mind
    is not gentlest to the heart
    but what it feels inside
    a truth that cannot be wrong

    with every passing fear
    find a shiver in the soul
    and that fear will subside
    because its on its own

    memories that wouldn't happen
    and i would not be whole
    thus i would always find
    you to complete me

    to think of where and when
    will we come undone
    becomes a shadow that burns
    and cloaks what is us

    for we are an emanation
    of a dream that we have
    in each other we are old
    enough to last through time.




    Submitted on 2005-06-07 08:03:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this, I think alot of times when I read love poems I feel like Im reading the same thing over again. But not with this, this is very original. I think I liked the 4th stanza best.
    Can't really think of any critiques or anything I would change, very good job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by DisilusndDreamr | [ Reply to This ]
      the rythem is farly well done.
    the content is beautiful.
    the flow is pretty smoth and easyly understood.
    imagry is not only pleasent but simple and clear to be seen.
    you did a good job.
    -snuff
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by snufthepunk28 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the first two verses the overshadows most things. The important thing with two people, the here and now. The past is done and cannot be undone, the future hasnt happened yet. But here you can view the past but not dwell, plan for the future not stress, and love in the moment that is so powerful! also the last stanza jumps out, the eternal commitment, two bodies in life and two souls in the afterlife, wherever that may be. nicely done
    mike :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]


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