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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Guitarist's Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShatteredGlass
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 21/26/9
    Words: 334
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 258
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2344



    Description:
       This is a poem I wrote for my boyfriend. The line in the line in the poem is where I stopped, becuase that is where it originally stopped. The parts after is not for him.


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    dotsGuitarist's Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strummin' the guitar,
    plucking at the strings.
    Faster, faster, the notes fly;
    the guitar sings.

    Playing such sweet music,
    the guitarist smiles.
    "Really nothin' to it,
    once you've played for a while."

    Notes dance in the air,
    fills the room with gold.
    Guitarist has a blank stare,
    blasting away the cold.

    Loving the warm sunshine,
    beaming down on his face.
    Summer is a "gold mine",
    wrapped in musical embrace.

    The notes are flying high,
    up into the clouds.
    Thangels singing in the sky;
    yep, it's that loud!

    The world seems to dance,
    to the rythm of the guitar.
    Everyone follows in a trance,
    as the guitarist leaves in his car.

    Driving down the highway,
    trying to find his star.
    "This is not a good day!
    Please erase this scar!"

    His eyes open; he's awake
    he sits up in bed.
    He picks up the phone;
    he wants to clear his head
    _______________________________________

    When no one picks up the phone,
    he quickly whipes his eye.
    "How long does this have to drone one?
    What's the matter with my life?"

    Sure he wants to go on,
    with his career and his life.
    But it doesn't seem worth it,
    to go on with such strife.

    Sitting there all tangled;
    a web of lies so cold.
    he really wishes his loved one
    was there for him to hold.

    He'd tell her everything
    about his life - he wants to come clean.
    But he's afraid she won't accept it -
    it's him she would hit.

    No, she won't do it.
    She loved him more than that.
    Becuase they are the best thing
    eachothers ever had.

    Oh, how he loved her
    from the first day that they met.
    A face and attitude like her's
    is something he won't ever forget.

    Things aren't what they seem;
    much love, not hate.
    This isn't just the guitarit's dream,
    and he isn't too late.




    Submitted on 2005-06-07 08:51:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a nice story. Very well written. I loved the beginning parts how you described the music and the notes, that was really cool. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the attempt, mainly because I am a guitarist myself, and know how beautiful music is. I can't say that it flowed too well, Unless it was a story, but then again I spy a rhyme scheme :)
    Anyways man, good try
    Keep it up and you will get it in no-time
    BigBill$
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really nice poem. I mean really really nice. so sincere, so loving, so unlike something that i would write. It got really depressing during the end I think, but that is just me. I like the beggininthe best though. The very first stanza I like it a lot,

    "Strummin' the guitar,
    plucking at the strings.
    Faster, faster, the notes fly;
    the guitar sings."

    I love this poem though for one main reason, It is about guitars and music. That is why it completely rocks. So yeah, good job. write some more like this. THNX

    - Nammy
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, nonetheless. Its written well, and has a good story to it. Really got sad near the end. though. I kinda agree with Bill, as a poem it doesn't really flow that well. But story form its fine (gotta love story form, you can do basically anything) minus that you did a great job creating the guitar, and the guitarist's feelings. Nice
    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      i understand how you made it a poem but i think it would be better as a story instead. i can't tell if I liked it or not, i guess i liked some parts and others...not so much. but i do think you are a talented writer, just that you need to find your style of writing. The more you write, the better you'll get so keep it up. {btw, im a first timer so dont take my comment too seriously}
    | Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by 15yearsemotion | [ Reply to This ]



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