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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Restless_Heart
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 44/35/16
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 985
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 993



    Description:
       Anything and everything.I don't really like this one, its very arrogant and I'm not typically like that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Feeling strong,
    Nothing going on,
    I hate this world, my life, everything is darker than the blackest pit.
    I hate everything about it.
    People yelling in this silent world around me,
    Cars crashing and stuff piling up.
    Emptyness, hate its more than just a feeling,
    Its hard to explain but nothing is better,
    Everyones gone,
    Nothing is here and no one cares,
    Its nothing but emptyness, and I'm all alone,
    I don't think this world would last without me,
    Nothing ever comes from being the enemy,
    If you think you've got what it takes then come after me,
    Theres nothing I haven't felt before.
    Its more just what I expect.
    No one can even comprehend whats wrong with me,
    Because I'm still not seeing why I'm the one with the problems,
    I'm stronger than I look and not as weak as I was once mistook.


    Copywritten 2005




    Submitted on 2005-06-07 17:40:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yay i get the first comment HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    you goin down ne ways :
    I really didn't feel that the piece kept a flow that was consentrated in one particular area that was steady and meaningful. it was like you were rambling around with the piece itself

    i did think that the work was very well put together though and it was worth it

    good write joe

    Peace Out
    Samm R
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by Raven_s Miser | [ Reply to This ]
      Well thank you anyways Samm. Like I said I'm not too fond of this one as it is. Its not really me. And yeah the peice itself may have been put together nicely but it just... I don't know. I didn't like it. I have ideas to make it better but I'm not sure if I want to delete it or not. It was very scattered and not my most moving work because it didn't consentrate, it jumped from one thing to another with no transition.
    But you did get the first comment lol but I got number two. hahaha nee ner nee ner. Thanks for your honesty Samm.
    As always,
    Joe
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by Restless_Heart | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this one alot...i like sad poems because thats the way you can really get into peoples hearts and feel their pain...not that pain is good just really captivating.very nice piece!
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by intoxicated411 | [ Reply to This ]
      It was pretty good. You got straight to the point of what you were feeling (i dont' know if you actually felt this or not...but anyway...) It wasn't very flowing, but otherwise I could understand everything you were talking about. I actually felt the same way at one time! My fave lines was prolly these:

    No one can even comprehend whats wrong with me,
    Because I'm still not seeing why I'm the one with the problems,
    I'm stronger than I look and not as weak as I was once mistook.

    Good write, keep it up!

    ~Kimberly
    | Posted on 2005-06-18 00:00:00 | by _NowOrNever_ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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