Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Razors edgedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: colopoao
    ASL Info:    42/ Male / Hallowell Mai
    Elite Ratio:    4.89 - 62/55/18
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 871
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 311



    Description:
       Every now and again we may find ourselves evaluating our lives and what it is that we want to give. This poem is a reflection of one of those moments. Standing at the ledge of yet another Birthday. Trying to find the Face Within. It is a first draft. I hope you like it.....Chris


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRazors edgedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The edge of a knife
    Standing on the ledge looking.....
    Down
    Traveling back in time
    Divided by time
    Seperated by desire
    Faceless...
    Walking....
    Wandering the streets
    Passed by society
    ignored by all.....
    Touched forever by time




    Submitted on 2005-06-07 20:04:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The imagery is potent and the feeling of marginalization is strong. So to are the outsider threads running through the poem. Some of the meaning is dependant on your statement and on your next draft you mite consider putting a reference to milestones or another notch on the belt something to clue the reader in that this thought tangent is caused by a crossroads contemplation. I would also consider including imagery of the marginal existence afforded by such a life as a perspective point for the future to come. Let me know when you have thenext draft and I have a look again.
    | Posted on 2005-10-18 00:00:00 | by Car va g o | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminded me of a movie called "the razors edge" based on a book.. based on a saying.. "the road to meaning is a razors edge" meaning that its difficult to find meaning in life. Your poem didnt really capture this.. but then again you may never have heard of this saying before.. Your poem for me felt like you were feeling disconnected from the world.. in a crowd of people but still alone. I get this too.. nice to know someone else feels this way... so.. are we really alone? I would say so.. evaluating our life is something personal yes?.. Usually its a positive thing.. but why does it always feel so depressing? When that next birthday comes around its always there.. What am i doing with my life?.. Anyway.. a few good lines in there.. "divided by time" I guess means looking at the past and looking to the future.. To be honest the poem itself is nothing awesome.. but the thoughts are familiar.. thats what caught my attention.. good luck.. And remember .. Failure is being successful at the wrong things.
    Shaun
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]
      what an awful feeling, really, damn...I have known someone that stared at the edges of the clock, the fine points of the metal hands..way too long, till their eyes became bloodshot and absorbed with doubt and wet pillows, its sad, but it can all turn around with enough slaps from the people who not only care, but believe that the person is capable of so much, not yet acheived..yep...great read, my friend
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    61910

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Every..... written by jackz
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Cover written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Your Lover written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry