Description: I left the last stanza missing in order to make it more like real life...her night's gone and that's it!
Special thanks to Rue!
Curse of Venus -------------------------------------------
Curse of Venus
On the sound of pounding bells
Breaking dawn proudly rides
The Sun creates a coppered vault
On which the life of morning strides
But disbalance of this sight appears
So discordant, yet so small
While reason halts and senses fail
A closer look reveals it all
A lonely flash smothered by day's light
An orphan star forsaken by the night
Once it shone a light so bright
But of the star the night lost sight
Cursed Venus now grieves and mourns
For the wretched misdeed has been done
More dark nights will surely pass
But hers, in truth, was only one
slides should be strides. I think it would sound more regal and stimulate more imaging. Everyone has their poems with the night light fight bright height sight kite might tight words, eh? Right. Heh. It's just a rhyme with so many demensions. Good for poetry. And good for poetry assignments, when you're not really into it, and need a quick rhyme scheme. Another spiffy write man. Impressive. Peace.-rue
wow, i liked this alot! great imaginary, it was so real. i dont know what else to say. The begining was slightly confussing, but by the end it all just fell into place. And i loved the ending! perfect- Great job!- jennifer
Interesting poem it has a great rythym and very original. I think you should work on your grammer for example it is halts not haults. You give great describing words in the poem and you can imagine it.
this is good, its shirt simple and rhymes. nice flowage and usage of words. i had to read this about three times , and i must say i like the images that come to mind. good poem.
Submission Name: Curse of Venus
Right. Heh. It's just a rhyme with so many demensions. Good for poetry. And good for poetry assignments, when you're not really into it, and need a quick rhyme scheme. Another spiffy write man. Impressive. Peace.-rue