"I Dont Ever Want To Lose You"

Author: painofthanatos Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86 Words: 71

Class/Type: Poetry /Angry Total Views: 894 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 499

Description:

---

"I Dont Ever Want To Lose You"

---

"I Don't Ever Want to Lose You" Well, I guess you never lied- You know exactly where I lay: Picking out shapes of broken hearts Amid the bloodied rain clouds, Surrounded by the shattered glass flowers Exactly where you put me And it doesn't matter to you, Nope, not at all Because you know I'll always come When you call out My name To that whore's fucking face

Submitted on 2005-06-08 15:19:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

i am so feeling the poem right now. you just put into words exactly what i'm going through. thank you. good job..i shall check out the rest of your poems

| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by hayl | [ Reply to This ]

"Picking out shapes of broken hearts Amid the bloodied rain clouds, Surrounded by the shattered glass flowers" i love those words.. are just .. as i was feeling thosde days i broke up with my girlfriend .. well.. but talking about the writing i would say that the final its a little confusing . maybe if you change a little and put some metaphrocual words it would be improved .. well keep on wrirting and .. come to comment my writings please! victor!

| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]

i think this was more of a vent then a poem (as you stated). i did, however, love: [[Amid the bloodied rain clouds, Surrounded by the shattered glass flowers]]. that was awesome imagery. i also liked how [[Exactly where you put me]] was by itself. nice emphasis. really got confused at this line [[When you call out [b] My [/b] name]] feel better! <3 sophie

| Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

62003