Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Just Another Memory


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 172
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1170
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1118



Description:


"There's something in my head,
Some where in the back saying:
We were just a good thing,
We were such a good thing" - The Killers
(and just so you all know, i pulled that number out of my ass - i'm not that creepy. lmfao)

More angry venting


Just Another Memory



The memory of your lips rests against my skin,
You'll forever be just another memory...

Remember the times you told me you loved me?
...Oh...well I do,
I remember them all,
672 times you told me
Call it obsessive, or call it a good memory
Cuz that's all you'll ever be
Just another good memory

Remember that time in Reston?
Trying to look official and important
But the make-up just wasn't enough
I laugh looking back
Remembering your roommates faces,
Remembering my roomates faces,
I would have hated to be the maid.
And all of those photographs we took
Are just another fading memory

Remember when I said
I was depressed and alone
And you told me to get fucked up
And forget about it
- forget about you
Well...now I'm too wasted to care
About anything but
Pulling *One* of those triggers
Just make them sit still
And I'll forever be
Just another memory




Submitted on 2005-06-08 15:27:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  another sad poem that seems to be about an ex :( lets go bust a cap in their ass

i liked the number part. it made the love in the relationship important in the poem so the reader knows your pain in the break up

[[Just another good memory]]
i thought it was odd that the subject of an angry poem was said to be a good memory. i would maybe take that out

[[I would have hated to be the maid.]]
haha i liked that detail

nice write
sophie
| Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
  Excellent work! I really liked this one.

Some great sad/cynicism with the hurt obvious under the bravado of the words.

After atrating out rather wistful, with the memory of the kiss, it seemed the more you remembered, the angrier you got.

This was fascinating to read, very well done.

Be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  The memory of your lips rests against my skin,
You'll gorever be just another memory...

I was kind of confused here. Did you mean forever on gorever. Well otherwise it showed alot of emotion which I really felt. Your anger at your lost memory sprouted from your poem's words. Great job.
| Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
  This I would have to be one of the creepiest writings that i have ever rad from you. I mean this is super creepy. (I can't believe that I just said "super") Well I thought the high point of the entire write would have to be:

"Remember the times you told me you loved me?
...Oh...well I do,
I remember them all,
672 times you told me
Call it obsessive, or call it a good memory
Cuz that's all you'll ever be
Just another good memory"

I say this because you make it sound like you are a stalker of some kind but you weren't. So yeah this is a wonderful write. THNX

- Nammy
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
  The only line that confuses me in this piece is "just make them sit still"... I think there should be something else there to preface that or explain what you mean by those words to allow the reader inside of your mind a bit more...
| Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



62004