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    dots Submission Name: Emotionlessdots

    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506

       About him again!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I sit,
    Watching you rip my heart out.
    I bleed,
    for the love we had.

    I wonder,
    What I have done,
    to make you hurt me so much.

    I remember,
    All the lies you fed to me.
    I believed,
    because my love went so deep.

    I now lay,
    You took everything from me.
    I'm empty,
    Nothing left to show,
    nothing left to feel.

    Submitted on 2005-06-08 17:06:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. It shows feeling. I feel as though I'm connected to it.

    Keep writing, you have so much potential! I'm serious...and don't be afraid to come read some of my stuff. I can take criticism...if you would like to comment. But I'm going to add you to my favorites, b/c I love this poem
    | Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by AngryAtTheWorld | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the premise and the thought behind it. I think I would have stayed with the structure in the second verse...then, something about "defenseless" that a another word, an emotion , might have more impact...meek?
    maybe not, probably just me.
    nice write. thanks for putting it out. good luck
    | Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by closetpoet | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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