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    dots Submission Name: Breathedots

    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 810


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Had the barren
    what man knows
    or what
    he sees...
    For All
    which Is ~
    Eden the
    Written by Time;
    Reason A
    written in Rhyme...
    In books
    is told:
    Jesus destroyed
    the market
    where "It"
    was sold...
    Listen now
    2 the Spirit of
    Feel Love relay
    Pay heed to "Its"
    And what
    does say...
    For all which
    is already
    Evil but
    2 be

    Submitted on 2004-04-08 11:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      deep, sick, and wicked, I f*cking love it. The longest one I"ve read, and by far the best too, wonder if that's coincidence? With a nice variety of possible interpretations. It's like pure magic. The first time I read it through I felt that the stanza would be better off revised, however after a much needed second read I wonder if it's not already done precisely what you had intended.
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Qualantalaqua! Yes, you are so wise o' wise one. Your words ring very true. They are fomatted just right so that if you have "it" you will get "it"...very cleverly done my dear.

    Thanks for the great write and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting format. I thought that it was a bit choppy. Like "The Gadfly" said I do enjoy your wisodm but the format was a bit choppy, but I figure you ment it that way
    | Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont agree with the last comment. It is a great piece. It is a unique orchestration of words. I really enjoyed it. I have no criticism for you. Keep up the great work! ~Anchiale~
    | Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by Anchiale | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the wisdom spoken in your words. My only complaint is the format which reads like someone who stutters. It interrupts the thought and makes it harder to embibe the savory essence of your thoughts.

    I liked this a lot.
    | Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with gotcha_crazy on the simplivity and shortness. I think this piece is wonderful. Great write!
    ~Jaime Lee Pachétte~
    | Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      i really really enjoyed the choppy format, i thought it flowed nicely, but i tend to like more disconnected sorts of poetry
    | Posted on 2004-04-27 00:00:00 | by colerinja | [ Reply to This ]

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