I was drowning slowly but surely
Drowning in an ocean of tears
Then i saw you there on the shore waiting
Waiting for the day when would calm my fears
Waiting for the day when you would dry my tears
When i saw you i swam to you,i embraced you
I smiled as you whisperd sweet nothings in my ear
I laughed as you drove away my fears
Together we stood hand in hand on the shore
Watching as my ocean of tears dried up
I felt a warmness in my heart
Hoping praying that we would never grow apart.
It confused me. The poem had a morbid feel, and so does the title - but the ending... Which is basically the most important part of the poem - was happy. Now happiness isn't a bad thing, but it seems like when you were writing this poem you were getting alot of images in your head and this is what came out. Therefore showing that the speaker still loves this person, and that they got back together somehow. If you change the title to something that explains the lost and found of your soul it will make more sense. If I'm wrong please comment on my comment because I'm assuming alot here and it's not my position to say what the poem is about.
I like this. I understand what it feels like to be lost in your own sorrow, then find someone who can help push thru it all with unconditional love. I liked how the start of it was sad, but in the end gave hope. Good work. Traci :)
this poem beautifully written! dont change anythign just like D.Q said! it is really good how u describe the ocean as ur tears! anyway i loved it! read some of my stuff iight gena! love ya gurl! ~akaila~
i know how u feel babe i think amanda could be that person 4 me w swim to. she keeps me calm. i just don't like confiding in people. i hope this person is still taking care of u. this one looks like a fave 4 me. holla at u later "troy"