Description: the third ghost poem aka this ghost. i hope that if any of the readers like this one they will check out the other two. number 2 is better if ya ask me. but anyways this poem shouldnt be hard to get. but just as a disclaimer the loon probly wouldnt be in a creek, since they live around ponds or lakes. and the only way you would probly be able to get that line is if you have heard the sound a loon makes. be honest about the flow and ryhming. thanks you and die safely =p
ghost III -------------------------------------------
fading like the sunset
are the beats of my heart
stolen by a ghost
armed with disloyalties dart
escaping thru shadows
hidden by cloak and hood
she is beautiful with transparent skin
masking her lack of good
casting spells
over a reflection of the moon
upon a still secluded creek
sounds the sorrow of the loon
calling the mist
with hallow promises and lies
she disappears into the gray
singing a sour song of good-byes
coming to a bridge
that bears my name
crying a river of tears
she sets it aflame
burning and crackling
smoke and cinders swirl
to the stars like doves
haunted by this ghostly girl
fading like the sunset
a dark face the ghost adorns
removing her hood revealing
a halo held up by horns
Halos and horns...yesiree...we all have them dont we? Question is which ones we let govern us with certain people, ya know? Sounds like this one used the horns most of the time with you and brought out the halo just enough to keep ya around. But, like you said, she removed her hood and revealed that to you. Nice write. I posted something today that dealt with halos and horns too. Quite cooly ironic to find those words here on your page. Cool beans man, must be that great minds think alike thing or something, who knows? Anyway, have a good one.
Soooooo you won't honesty eh ? eh? eh? *grin* *wicked laugh* ...Nahh this rocks...you know i love your stuff...Always have...Always will ...
Flow was good ...i tripped on this stanza coming to a bridge that bears my name crying a river of tears she sets it aflame I thought it was a lot shorter then the rest and definatly made me break the flow in my head...
"haunted by this ghostly gir" this line too seemed a little too long for the rest of the stanza....But you know flow can be different for everyone ...What trips me up may not bother someone else...I can only give you my opinion ... This truly was an awesome write...Very vivid and pretty in a sad darkish way ....just the way i like it !! Blessed be
Submission Name: ghost III
