Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Life Was Worth Livingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1248



    Description:
       okay it's not excellent

    it won't be studied throughout millions of schools, analyzed and dissected by students and readers wondering at the mechanisms of my mind

    it's much too elementary for that

    but it is very honest


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Life Was Worth Livingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My Life Was Worth Living

    Life and I don't get along
    As fights and tears all drown my song
    And though it's short, it seems too long
    Me being alive just seems so wrong

    Others deserve so much more to live
    Others have so much more to give
    When I think of all that I have been
    I break down and I feel sick

    Where smiles should have been I brought tears
    Where laughter should've rung I brought fear
    And from everywhere Iíve gotten leers
    From parents to friends to strangers to peers

    If I had tried, I could have shared
    So much love, if I had cared
    But it's all lost, and I don't know where
    To go, so Iíll pray one final prayer

    I pray to whoever listens, not for myself
    That happiness will find everyone else
    Live life to the fullest, give your very best
    Itís too late for me, but not for the rest

    Oh, someone that hears me, I ask you to be
    The best person you can; don't end up like me
    And if I change one life, then perhaps Iíll have peace
    My life was worth its living; no more need for me to breathe




    Submitted on 2005-06-08 23:36:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this as soon as I read the description. It may be honest, but you are misinterpriting your life.

    I love this with a capital 'o'. The message is good, but you consider your life done, and that is just stupid. Do you realize that you can give more than you can expect anyone else to give?

    You're much too young to give up hope, even if life is hopeless. Chin up kiddo.

    Tragicly,
    Not her hero anymore.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]
      Right away this annoyed me because the rhyme scheme was so inconsistant. It made it hard for me to just concentrate and read the poem. Also some of the rhymes were a little forced which compromised the content of the poem. As for the actual content...it was alright- nothing particularly original about it. Anyways keep at it.
    -Katj
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Katj | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that this was really good, yes maybe the rhyme scheme was off but either way i liked it. i thought that the msg in here was great and deep. i dont think your life is over i think there is so much more to give. dont give up yet you are young and have everything ahead of you. and yes that may sound like a load of bs. but its true. i hope to hear from you and keep up the good work...Joy
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    62076

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    You read free written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Love written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry