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    dots Submission Name: goodbye rockdots

    Author: andnow
    ASL Info:    19.f.wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 136/135/42
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609

       dropping a heavy load off your life

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgoodbye rockdots

    Floating peacefully across the waves,
    I become at one with the bobbing of the water.
    Gazing at an undefinable horizon,
    where the sea and sky become one.
    In my hands, a rock
    rough, jagged, bitter,
    cruel edges that could pierce the skin.
    I rub my thumb across its surface,
    as I stare into that vast mist of grey and green.
    Extend my arm over the mystery below,
    and in one quick movement
    drop that stone of worry.

    Watching that rock sink into a musty unknown oblivion,
    I smile a slight, shy smile.

    Submitted on 2005-06-09 01:41:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice, a complete story in one short poem. It's the beautiful event of starting a new life and so well described, I could really feel the meaning behind it all while reading. This will be going in my favorites...
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this little poem. I can relate with the sentimates and enjoyed the set up of the content. A few of the word choices seem a little out of place to me, but not enough to really compromise much. Nice work; keep at it.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Katj | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a short but complete poem as gavin said. It has a calming effect and if worry was so easy to drop, it would be wow!

    Thanks for a interesting read :) Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      While being short, there was enough said! This was a great simili piece. I loved how you wrote this. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest! Bravo, I think this one was beautifully written!
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]

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