School is finally over.... by Wolfeye

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Submission Name: School is finally over.... dots

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Author:	Wolfeye_666
ASL Info:	14/M/Canada
Elite Ratio:	6.53 - 140/112/21
Words:	61

Class/Type:	Poetry/I hate you
Total Views:	303
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	375

Description:
So this is a part of what I think about school, so comment, and tell me whatever you want, this is my first post, and this is one of thje things i wanted to get out of my head.

School is finally over.... dots

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First when i started,
i was happy,
then I was mad at teachers,
then I got back to normal,
but then suddenly,
a teacher starts to hate me,
cause he thinks I'm lying,
so finally it was ok,
but some days i felt like punching his ugly face,
and now that school is over,
I am happy, but stil angry

Submitted on 2005-06-09 08:28:07 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This was pretty straight to the point and not very poetic but hey it was ur first one...so it's not bad and it was venting which is mainy for the most part anyway, raw emotion...keep writing and continue to branch out to different emotions...thanks for the insight and yeah school sux.
peace
can't wait to read more.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought this was super funny. I am still not sure what the point was and I really dont think it was poetry but OMG I was rolling on the floor laughin (my apologies if it wasnt supposed to be funny). you know how something can be so angry its funny??? Well probably not but w/e. Welp anywayz I liked it... it made me laugh. so mad props Wolf.

Drea
| Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]
  skools over whooohoooo im on vacation rite now cuz my teacherwent to pakistan
coooo poem dont worryu wht everyone else sayss i like dis poem
and the hole exact ly wht u think thing is nice

Darkness of the Grim Draco
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
  hey well i dont lie sorry i didnt like it but i relate to it im not trying to get on your bad side but if your angry you should be able to get sum good poems outa that just this ones not a winner thx fer the comment on love and lose
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
  um... well this is more of like a journal entry then poetry. Don't describe everything strait out. If it's a poem use discriptive words to describe how you feel. What's going on in your head? discribe the hatred or anger or happiness. don't just tell, show. That is just a little advice someone recently gave to me and it seems to fit here as well. I can tell you want to get your words out just right to show how you feel and what's going on in yoiur life. You just have to tap in to your more creative side. Let me know if you submit any thing else and keep in touch.

-Caitlin :)
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really blunt, and reminds me of something my ten year old sister writes in her journal. you should try using metaphors and describing things.. think of your five senses (ie: sight, smell, touch, taste, hear)..
good luck
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by fallingingreen | [ Reply to This ]
  Just horrid
Lol it was so bad it was funny
This should be labeled comedy
Well in any case,
I hope you write more
And write better at that
Best of Luck
Big Bill-
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
  No depth complexity or imagery. It's just ... blech. Flow emotion onto the page not just words. You can't rant in poetry without huge amounts of thought (and by then you've cooled off and it's not a rant anymore). YOu just dislike school, maybe just a pinch of support for your feelings such as it has communistic values, or tries to put a precentile on a mind. Don't just hate, have a reason and express it or at least frill up your hate so we don't find you bratty and spoiled, accoustomed to whatever you want happening "because I said so"
| Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by Tekin_Kashami | [ Reply to This ]
  you just need more depth..
but reading bills stuff will help you alot. he is great at that.
So just watch and learn ;)
great attempt
keep tryin!
jennifer
| Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a nice first attempt. For a first time poet, you've got the idea, you just need a bit more depth and feeling. Let the words 'flow' instead of keeping them all choppy, as if they can't go anywhere.

Still, this isn't bad for someone your age. Keep it up, I'm sure the more you write, the better it will get!

*hugs a plenty*
~~Avry~~
| Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]

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