Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: its the breakup to comedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkonesgirl
    ASL Info:    21/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 233/245/125
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 523



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsits the breakup to comedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I messed up
    The other day
    I fount comfort
    In anotherís arms
    I took the cheating
    A step further
    Then you did
    That one time
    Iíve hurt you
    Way to much
    If you listen
    To all logic
    It would tell you
    To leave me alone
    That I lead you
    To a road of endless pain
    Will you finally leave me
    For a first time
    Could you learn how
    To break my heart
    What does you heart
    Tell you to do




    Submitted on 2005-06-09 10:39:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Im a little confused. Were you trying to say that he cheated on your character and then she cheated on him but she made him hurt more than he made her hurt. If thats not what you meant tell me because its your work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece alot and i think that i can relate. people need to feel like they aren't the only one's out there with the same feelings. i think that you meant he hurt you when he wouldn't leave you. i think that you may have trust issues or just maybe comitment problems. maybe you have been hurt too many times and you just want to be away from things that hurt you like your relationship "buddy" i hope that you are able to get over your problems and i think maybe this person is bringing you down.

    maybe i don't even truly understand this piece but this is what i got from it.
    keep up the awesome work.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem because it confornts the main confrentation that is going oon in the relationship.Most of the time when you read a poem that is somewhat similair to this ,it is always the cheaters thoughts that you get to read about.It goes by them saying "what should I do " or "should I tell them" "I don't want to end our love" and all that other crap that you already know that they are going to say.But in your poem the cheater confronts themself but also confronts their lovers permiscuity(probably spelt that wrong).Thanks for your comment on Flames you adore. To tell you the truth I was thinking about deleting it because I thought that it may be too weak or too common or my words would not flow good enough.But when I submitted it,as you can see a lot of people responded back to it and some put it on their fav.list. I decided to write it because I have not written a love poem since last year when I wrote Sometimes.
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by shombray | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    62111

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry