Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Swan Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Toadslayer
    ASL Info:    35/Female/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 32/38/15
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1066
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 323



    Description:
       Life changes.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSwan Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Can you see the space,
    where the words are not spoken?

    No eyes for you to read,
    and my presence of mind shaken.

    The roots to the core of my being,
    rotten and withering away.

    The remnants of my old life molting,
    a swan song in the midst of a new dawn.




    Submitted on 2005-06-09 11:39:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I received a note a long time ago saying something like this: "Be like the swan: cool and unruffled on the surface, but paddling hard underneath," which I still bear in mind whenever tough times come my way. I thought, when you used the 'swan' word for your title, you'd be talking about grace under pressure. But like the comments before me, it spoke more about a new life... shedding your old self in place of a new one. I enjoyed reading your piece very much, and I especially like the first two lines for an opening. Except I just couldn't see the connection between these lines to the last. The second two lines spoke to me as if you were having a writer's block or that some changes within you are underway. But nice choices of words and I really like 'em. :D
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by Vangielyn | [ Reply to This ]
      it says rebirth to me more than anything. like the first part explains the pain and sorrow of giving up something from the recent past and the at the end it's like she's shrugging off the past and stepping into a new world. then i could just be crazy! Simplistic yet beautiful!

    Meow!
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]
      it is a very confusinbg piece but i do like it. i'm not exactly sure why but i do. i hope to read more by you soon. keep up the great work.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know if you ARE wise, but this song reeks with wisdom, at least in the first 2 stanzas. You have an interesting way of showing bad (rotten, withering, life molting) and idilic (swan song, new dawn) motives.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by shoggoth | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    62117

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Etiquette written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry