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    dots Submission Name: The shadowsdots

    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 994

       This is a metaphor for the pain our evils cause in the long run, death being an obvious exaggeration.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe shadowsdots

    A shadow grows in the corner
    Eating away at the light
    People who can't explain it
    Simply tell lies all night

    As if any fall for the devious web they made
    They tell their lies with valor, every single one
    They don't see the shadow was of their lies laid
    Oblious to their irony they sit in the evil they spun

    A shadow grows in the corner
    Eating away at the light
    The shadow grows larger every time
    They do what is not right

    The shadow begins to seal the room
    From the sun's eternal glow
    The worst part of their great gloom
    Is the cause they'll never know

    A shadow grows in the corner
    Eating away at the light
    The shadow becomes darkness
    Heightening their plight

    As chaos burns at their souls
    And troubles become worse
    When the thunder rolls
    Up drives the black hearse

    Submitted on 2005-06-09 20:17:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this write

    To me it awakens the fears todays youth have of the world

    Its a very powerful message

    If you get a chance take a look at some of my newer posts I always enjoy hearing from ya

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    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This isn't bad...The repetition of
    "A shadow grows in the corner
    Eating away at the light"
    is what really makes it stand out, and it definitely adds to it. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by YouLied | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, I like the wording, and the story. And as YouLied has stated;

    A shadow grows in the corner,
    Eating away at the light,

    is what really jumped out at me. But the story is what hed me in, Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      that is a wonderful poem. I'm not lying, i swear, when I say that I can understand what you are saying, because it's pretty much what I've been trying to explain to my depressed friend. I don't really like the last stance that much but the rest is good.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by blind.who.sees | [ Reply to This ]

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